Bohemian Rhapsody

Doing My Job

When state test scores are low, the teachers are blamed. Why didn't you teach this, that or the other? Or Why didn't you teach this, that or the other differently? There is never any mention of students putting zero effort into school. There is no talk of students taking zero responsibility for their education. Nope! It's always the teacher's fault. Ummm... I'm teaching like there's no tomorrow. Most students resist me at every turn.

Teacher

You're Late!

My boss told me this was the fifth time this week I was late. He said, you know what this means, don't you? I said, yes, it means it's Friday! Haha!

I can sing

In a job interview I was asked if I could perform under pressure. I said no, but I can sing Bohemian Rhapsody :-)

March!

I asked my wife when her birthday is. She said March first. So I walked around the room and asked her again!

Ah, Marriage!

Disagree?

 

Anybody disagree?

On a related note--- In marriage, her money is her money, and my money is her money. See? It all works out!

I admit it

I admit this is true. I can't believe it about myself, but it's true. My favorite stove burner is front left.

 

Sad!

 This photo speaks for itself. I will use only one word to describe it... SAD!

Under Pressure

 When you hear the opening riff to Queen's "Under Pressure" and you get all excited... Only to hear Vanilla Ice say, "Yo! VIP! Let's kick it!". Ice Ice Baby...

Logic

 It's tough to argue with that logic!

Paranoid!

 

911 Emergency

 

The Accident

Me calling insurance company: Yes, Hello. I just hit an animal with my truck. Am I covered? 

 Insurance agent: Yes sir! May I ask... What kind of animal did you hit?

 Me: A fish. 

Insurance agent: Um...........