Clear as mud

Public urination is prohibited. However, cutting eggs and punctuation is permitted. Okay. Got it!

Choice of words

Poor choice of words? I'd say so!

Taco Yogurt?

I could totally make this mistake. And I'm not saying I would like it, but I sure wouldn't knock it until I had tried it.

Dryer

If liberals ran the world, this would be our clothes dryer...

Ewww! Gross!

Some people will eat anything! Yuck!

Sponge Bob

Back in the 90's Nickelodeon was in its heyday. It was all the rage with the pre-school and elementary school crowd. Now in the days of Netflix, Amazon Prime, and almost any show available on demand, Nickelodeon is a fad of the past.

One of Nickelodeon's biggest hits was Sponge Bob Square Pants. Today, much like the entire network, Sponge Bob's shelf life has expired. He's hit some real hard times lately. Oh how the mighty have fallen!

BIG in Texas

As the saying goes, "Everything's BIGGER in Texas".

My grandkids moved to Texas a few months ago, and we have since learned one of the highlights of their city (Katy, Texas) is the world's largest car wash. Elliott is quite impressed with it, and enthusiastically reports that it's as long as a football field.

On Easter Sunday our extended family was at our house and we called the Mortons down in Texas. My brother, Kerry, was trying to prompt Elliott into telling him about the carwash. He told Elliott that everything is bigger in Texas, and asked if he had seen anything big. Expecting to hear about this monstrous carwash, we were all cracking up when Elliott surprised us by saying, "Well... our couch is bigger!" We all got a big laugh out of that!

Mowing

I mowed my lawn today. This is so true!

A tale of two days

This has been the tale of two days.

This morning I went back to school after a nice, long spring break. Once I got there I had a horrible day. This evening the day took a 180 and it couldn't have been more perfect. I sat in my easy chair with the windows open and a fan blowing right on me (ahhhhh!). I enjoyed a nice cold beverage and listened to the Reds on the radio (one of the most relaxing things in the world). Now I'm relaxing with my lovely wife as we watch one of our favorite TV shows. What a day!

Sweating Dems

The Democrats are really starting to sweat...

He is RISEN!

He is RISEN!

He is risen indeed!

Happy resurrection Sunday! Happy Easter! The Lord, Jesus Christ is risen from the dead! Alleluia! Hosanna in the highest!

And furthermore...

And speaking of getting old...

Waking up

I hate to admit it, but I'm getting old. This proves it...

I have failed

I have failed as an English teacher. Mistakes like this are all too common...

Guns and Drugs

So true! So true! You can't outlaw something and make it go away. Take the world's oldest profession for example. Prostitution has been illegal for centuries. Last time I checked, it is still going strong. It's against the law to drive without insurance, yet thousands of people do it every day. You can't legislate something away. People are going to be people and will do whatever they want whether there is a law against it or not.

Notre Dame

Sad news out of Paris yesterday. The Notre Dame Cathedral was heavily damaged by fire. I visited this 850 year old landmark in July of 1984. I remember what an incredible sight it was. I also remember how gorgeous it was at night as we sailed past it on a boat on the Seine River. The French will rebuild it, but it will never be quite the same.

The fun in getting old

Getting old is fun, huh?

It's time!

I'm on spring break, the weather is warming up, and that can only mean one thing. It's grilling season! What's on the menu today? Brats and metts? Nope. Hot dogs? Nope. Ribeye steaks and chicken? Yep! Happy spring break to me and my amazing wife.

Julian Assange

Julian Assange was arrested yesterday. His crime was exposing the corruption of the deep state democrats.

AG Barr

AG Barr is dropping the hammer on crooked democrats and they are in full panic mode. I hope they all get what is coming to them. They have abused their power for far too long!

The busy-ness of life

For those of you who regularly read this blog, you have likely gotten used to seeing something posted every day. You may have noticed that I have missed two days making a post this past week. There is a simple explanation for this. Life has gotten very busy. At school we are in the midst of administering the state tests and at home the yard has been screaming for my attention. I’m not complaining about the spring weather, but it does cause the grass to grow very quickly. My duties as a deacon at my church have also taken up a lot of my time. I’m on spring break next week, so will have a good opportunity to get a handle on my yard work and will have a chance to catch my breath. After spring break I will make the final push to end the school year and get to summer break. Obviously my schedule really opens up then. I’m looking forward to that.

Stay tuned folks. More posts will be coming. Just like life in general, where we experience peaks and valleys, this blog experiences those peaks and valleys as well. As it so happens, the blog is in a bit of a valley right now. No worries though… things are looking soon.

Empty Nest

Tami and I miss our kids terribly. Don't get me wrong. We're happy they have lives of their own, and we're happy they are doing well. But we still miss having them around. We miss them a lot! The house is too quiet. I'm a very quiet guy and Tami gets tired of doing all the talking. However, there are some obvious benefits to the empty nest too. EVERYTHING is cheaper... and I do mean everything. Life is less complicated. In other words there is not a lot of conflict like we used to have between siblings. And the house stays cleaner. Less people in the house means less of a mess. Mature adults in the house means less of a mess. Being gone at work a lot means less of a mess. But I must confess... there are times when I miss the mess. Everything is working out the way it's supposed to, but it doesn't make it much easier not seeing our kids very often. If any of our kids or grandkids are reading this... give us a call! We miss you and we would love to catch up!

Being a grandpa

This is what it's like being a grandpa...

Creepy Uncle Joe

Joe Biden is the very definition of a dirty old man. He has been dubbed creepy Uncle Joe. If you need proof just do an internet search of Joe Biden's inappropriate touching or creepy Uncle Joe. However, I must caution you. If you look it up online, be prepared to throw up in your mouth a little bit. This guy is a slimy pig. He has his hands all over women and little girls in dozens of instances during very public appearances. This isn't a new problem, and it's not a rare problem. This guy has a habit of coming up behind women, putting his hands on their shoulders, sniffing their hair, and kissing the backs of their heads. GROSS! I barely do that to my own wife. Let alone women I barely know. WHO DOES THAT???????

He recently came out with an "apology" of sorts. He spewed some ridiculous explanation about how politics is about connecting with people, and he was just offering his support. Uh no, Creepy Uncle Joe, you were getting your jollies and you know it. In this so called apology, Biden said all kinds of things about being more mindful about respecting peoples' personal space, and how he recognizes social norms are changing. Uh, no! It has never been socially normal to sniff a woman's hair and kiss the back of her head. Do you know what was missing from Joe's so-called apology? An actual apology. He never said he was sorry. He said he was simply offering support and he will be more mindful of personal space in the future. He also said something about taking selfies instead of groping women and little girls. Yeah, well, it's too late for that Creepy Uncle Joe. That ship has sailed. You have rightfully earned this reputation and now you must live with it. Even your own party is distancing itself from you. In this era of #metoo, you have no shot at being President. Now go away and keep your distance from our wives and daughters!

Mueller

The Mueller Report has been out for a while now. Two years and $25 million revealed what we've known all along... There was no Russia collusion during the 2016 presidential election campaign. The liberals have been salivating for months thinking the report would expose some salacious activity by President Trump that would be an impeachable offense. The collective cries of anguish and tears were audible when the truth finally came out. Russian collusion was nothing but a smear campaign and a hoax. It failed to unseat a lawfully elected president and the liberals can't handle it.

Proof Positive

Here in Cincinnati there is much talk and discussion about replacing the Brent Spence bridge. How do we pay for it? Who pays for it (Ohio or Kentucky?), should we use tax money, get a grant, make it a toll bridge? The bridge needs to be replaced. Period. What about the Western Hills Viaduct? It's falling down before our eyes and it is in desperate need of replacement. Take a drive around our country and you will find countless projects just like the two listed above. The infrastructure in this nation is crumbling and if we don't do something about it, we will have more situations like the one shown in these photos. This is I-75 in Tennessee a few days ago. A highway overpass literally collapsed onto another interstate highway below.

Resistance

I'm not doing too well on my diet and workout regimen. Perhaps this is the reason?