28 Years

August 31, 1990. The day that shook me to my core and shaped the rest of my life.

It was on this date 28 years ago my dad passed away at the much-too-young age of 47. I received an early, early morning phone call from mom telling my siblings and me to get to the hospital right away. I quickly asked, "How bad is it?". Mom said there was no rush because he was already gone. I don't remember much after that.

I do know there are few days that go by when I don't think of dad. I have watched my kids grow up and experienced the happiness when they got married. I have experienced the pure joy of being a grandfather. Then I think about how dad never got to experience any of those things and it makes me incredibly sad. My dad adored kids, and I know how completely gaga he would have been over his own grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I also get sad when I think about how he did not get to see his three kids grow into productive, well adjusted, successful adults. There is so much I wish I could have gone through with my dad as an adult. But it was not in God's plan for either of us to have that. When dad passed everything seemed so hopeless and we all felt lost. However, in God's mercy and grace, he brought Cliff into my mom's life. She needed someone and the Lord delivered. Cliff was a Godsend and has taken excellent care of mom (and as the eldest son, that's all I could ever ask for).

It's hard to believe it has been 28 years. There's so much I remember about dad, but I also know there is so much I have long since forgotten. It saddens me to think that some of my most vivid memories are from a time when he was battling leukemia. I'm not saying I don't remember things about him when he wasn't ill, but I guess the memories of him fighting for his life are the most recent and that's why I remember them so well.

I miss you, dad.

I will carry on today. It's all we can do when loved ones have left us. I am thankful for my Savior, Jesus Christ. The One who died on the cross for me with the promise that one day he will come back and there will be a new heaven and a new earth. A promise that one day there will be no more sadness, no more pain, no more sickness, and no more death. I am resting in that promise today. It is the only place I can find real and true hope. I am thankful I don't have to do this on my own.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding...
Proverbs 3:5

Soli Deo Gloria!