I doth protest!

Finally! A cause I can get behind!

Woof! Woof!

Many years ago when we lived in Finneytown, we had a neighbor who had a dog that barked a lot. This neighbor kept the dog outside most of the time and all he ever did was bark because he wanted to be inside. This dog was a large, white St. Bernard with a deep, bellowing bark. Appropriately enough, the dog's name was Boomer. Boomer's owner wasn't home much, and rarely kept him indoors. I felt bad for Boomer because all he ever did was stand at the door barking... barking for an owner to open the door. When I say Boomer barked a lot, I am not kidding. He barked at all hours of the day and night. To make the situation million times worse, Boomer favorite spot to bark was only about 30 feet from our bedroom window. It was awful... enough to drive us crazy!!!!!! One night about 2:00 or 3:00 A.M., Boomer was barking up a storm and nobody in our house was sleeping. Tami was pregnant at the time and was in no mood for games. She called the neighbor and firmly told him to take his dog inside. This guy was so oblivious that he said his dog wasn't barking. So Boomer was keeping the whole neighborhood awake in the middle of the night, and his owner was so clueless that he denied it was happening. Tami "Politely" (yes, that's sarcasm) told him to get his dog inside. Thankfully he did, or I would have feared for his physical well-being. Translated- Tami would have torn him limb from limb! After that night the situation didn't get any better. In fact, we even had to call the police a few times. On one occasion the dog barked constantly for more than 12 hours straight. Our neighbor received a citation for that one! Thankfully ol' Boomer and his owner moved away before further action had to be taken.

Admittedly I am not a dog person. However, I do not begrudge other people the pleasure of owning pets. All I ask is that a dog owner has enough consideration for neighbors who do not choose own one. You can have all the dogs you want. Just don't make me listen to them bark. I will also do my very best to be considerate of my neighbors and not do anything that would disturb them.

Back to Boomer... I wish I had the nerve to do something like this back in the day :-)

Rule Followers

These people are what I call true rule followers:

One week+

Trump has been in office a little over a week, and has accomplished more in that week than Obama did in eight years. That's why the graphic below seems so true to me:

So True!

This is so true! I always felt the same way about algebra. I could find the value of x, but couldn't do any of the practical life skills on the list. And for the record, this list is only a sampling of skills kids should master before leaving school. I would add the concept of using credit cards and how paying interest can CRUSH your finances, how to tip in a restaurant, how to change a tire and check your car's engine oil, how to apply for a job, how to write a thank you note, and a plethora of other things. The list is virtually endless.

Better Places

I'm dreaming of better places today. Although the temperatures have been warmer than usual, I still can't stand gray, gloomy, dreary winters in the midwest. I could definitely see myself on a beach in the Caribbean or maybe even here...

Reagan -vs- Trump

I'm not here to tell you President Trump will ever approach the level of achievement and accomplishment that Ronald Reagan did. However, I am not willing to listen to those who are screaming about Donald Trump having no experience in politics. In fact, I think that is EXACTLY what got him elected. He's not a politician, and that is precisely why many Americans voted for him. The so-called establishment of both parties have worn out their welcome in our nation's capital and the people have been clamoring for change. Will President Trump institute that change? It's way to early to tell, but his lack of political experience is of no concern to me.

Lefty

Say hello to Lefty! In a non-scientific experiment, young Asher picked up a fork with his left hand 9 out of 10 times. Looks like this boy wants to be like his Goppa!

POW!

Well this one punched me in the gut! Somebody went and found a graphic that listed all of my faults in one convenient slide. This is TOTALLY me! Hey, at least I'm a guy who acknowledges his shortcomings. I have no delusions of grandeur about myself. The only one that doesn't apply is the last one. I can totally check out (mentally). In fact, I probably do it way too often.

Asher is 1

This little guy turned one year old today.
***Note the blue icing on his face :-)***

George W.

Ol' George W. won't go down in history as one of our greatest Presidents, but I do think he is a good man. His heart was usually in the right place when it came to running our nation, but sometimes he could be viewed as somewhat of a buffoon. As President, there was never a shortage of material when it came to lampooning him. Yesterday at Trump's inauguration, Dubya had a fight with a rain poncho and the rain poncho won. It does look like he had a sense of humor about it though.

And so it begins...

Yesterday, was a good day. I'm not sure, but I think today may be even better.

Hey, look who's sitting in the Oval Office!

Mr. President

Mr. President.

'Nuff said!

The end of an error

This is it! Today’s the day we say goodbye to Obama and hello to our new President, Donald J. Trump. It’s the end of an error. Not an era, an error… an eight-year error to be exact. I have been counting the days and now I am counting the hours until this national nightmare is over. I am hopeful our new President will usher in much needed reform in a nation that has been in steady decline since Obama took office on January 20, 2009. However, I am smart enough to know that Trump is just a man. The real ruler is seated on the throne in heaven. Our sovereign God is in control. He put Obama in office and he has now put Trump in office. My faith lies in things above and not on things of this earth. To God be the glory!

To those who say Hillary won the popular vote or the Russians hacked our election, I submit the following excerpt from an article I read a while back.

It’s obvious that the election wasn’t hacked. If, say, Russia wanted to elect Trump, they would have given him the popular vote victory along with his electoral victory. They also wouldn’t have left him to squeak out meager wins across the upper midwest and rust belt.
The media is intentionally lying to the public because they want a better excuse for Election Day than the reality. They would rather focus on hacking, the popular vote, FBI Director James Comey, or the minuscule alt-right, instead of accepting that American voters slightly preferred Donald Trump to Hillary Clinton, at least in the states where it counted. People wanted change over the ineptness, cronyism, and stagnation of the Obama era. They didn’t trust the utterly untrustable Clinton and liked her even less.
The harsh reality is this: Hillary Clinton is the worst presidential nominee in American history. And if the media is actually concerned about fake news, they will drop the election hacking lie and just admit that their candidate was a disaster.

I also submit the following:

The liberals swore there was no way the election could be hacked when they believed Hillary was a virtual lock to win the election on November 8th. They insisted Trump accept that fact and also accept the election results. They chastised him when he said he would not necessarily accept the election results on November 9th. When Trump won, the left- wingers cried foul and said Trump did not legitimately win the election. They said Hillary won the popular vote and she should rightfully be President. Even though the Electoral College has been in place for a couple hundred years. Consider this… A tennis match could be scored as follows: 6-0, 6-7, 6-7. The player who won 18 games to 14 games lost the match. Why? Because the person who won 14 games won 2 sets to 1. Compare this to the election. Hillary got more votes (just like the tennis player that won 18 games), but lost the election (she received fewer electoral votes just like the player who won fewer sets). The liberals also started screaming about the Russians hacking our election. Yes, the same election they said COULD NOT be hacked mere weeks earlier. The liberals exhibited a classic case of wanting to have their cake and eat it too. The two months following the election have been filled with claims of an illegitimate Presidency, and insisting Trump is “Not my President”.

Now here we are on Inauguration Day. The Democrats have been throwing temper tantrums for two and a half months. They have shown themselves to be nothing but hateful, intolerant, sore losers. They have attempted to find an Achilles heel that would disqualify Trump from the highest office in the land (They failed). They tried to get recounts in key battleground states in an attempt to flip the Electoral College (They failed). They tried threatening the lives of Electors (They failed). They have made terrorist threats ahead of Inauguration Day (hopefully this will fail too). All of their weeping and gnashing of teeth has gained them nothing. Donald Trump will be sworn in as President today and there is not a doggone thing any of the liberals can do about it. It’s time for them to grow up and accept the facts. You lost. Your liberal, globalist agenda was soundly rejected. Deal with it! The people of the Heartland have spoken. May God bless Donald Trump, and may God bless America.

Speaking correctly

I'm no language snob, but for the most part I feel like I have a fairly good grasp on the English language. I have a casual register that I use all the time, but I also know how and when to use my formal register. I am guilty of chopping the "g" off words that end in "ing". I regularly say, walkin', talkin, jumpin', etc... I also sling around my share of woulda, coulda, shoulda, wanna, and gonna. But when the chips are down, I can turn that off and speak properly. See below a list of language offenses I do not commit, but are quite common.

40k

As of today this blog has 40,000 page views. Thank you, loyal blog readers. I am humbled that you take time each day to stop by and see what silliness is on my mind. Next stop... 50,000!

Marital Arguments

I'm not sure I believe this sign. Husbands don't win arguments... if they happen to gain the upper hand in any disagreement, that dispute doesn't end, a new one begins.

Stop!

Stop! In the name of the law! No! Seriously! I mean it! Stop in the name of the law! Hey, why are you laughing?

What's in a name?

What’s in a name? The answer to that question is simple. There is a lot in a name. This thought came to me last month, as our church was Christmas caroling at a local nursing home. Tami observed and noted the “old fashioned” names of the residents. We discussed how you really don’t see these names much anymore and how they will likely die out in a generation or two. You know what kind of names I’m referring to. The names of your grandparents or names you might see in a history book. This whole discussion got me to thinking about the names of my many students over the last 27 years. With very few exceptions, I have never taught students named Margaret, Delores, Elmer, George, etc… This also led to further thought about the names of the students I’ve taught in my career. I came to the following conclusion: There are basically three categories of names. Old fashioned names, retro names, and modern names. Old-fashioned names are the aforementioned monikers that are not in use anymore, and are quickly dying out. Retro names belong to people between the ages of 30 and 50. These are names that are common among today’s adults excluding the elderly. These names are well known, but there aren’t many millennials running around with these names. In other words, retro names belong to the people I grew up with. Greg, Tom, Dave, Susan, Tracy, Lori, etc… Modern names belong to the kids of today, and generally belong to the students I’ve taught (and currently teach). Just for fun I’ve compiled a lengthy list of each kind of name. Obviously I couldn’t think of every name ever given, but it’s not bad considering it came from my brain and I didn’t look anything up.

Old-Fashioned names-
Ruth, Margaret, Irene, Madge, Charlene, Eustace, Charlotte, Frank, Harold, Ines, Walter, Abraham, Solomon, Isaac, Hank, Leon, Jacob, Mary, James, Charles, Noel, Phillip, Victor, Noelle, William, Thomas, Abigail, Chester, Elmer, George, Louis, Ferdinand, Delores, Doris, Elizabeth, Florence, Beatrice, Yvonne, Christian, Asa, Ralph, Peter, Richard, Jeanette, Leonard, Sheldon, Catherine, Virginia, Howard, Jesse, Naomi, Esther, Louise, Gabriel, Nellie, Leona, Wilbur, Albert, Sam, Violet, Rose, Clara, Joan, Martin, May, Augustus, Edward, Virgil, Beverly, Nora, Eugene, Sarah, Rosemary, Elanor, Lawrence, Edsel, Lenora, Carl, Melvin, Carol, Betty, Gus, Edwin, Marge, Eileen, Pearl, Francis, Ruby, Alice, Ethel, Agnes, Joseph, Lucille, Luanne, Fred, Edmund, Lucy, Francine, Helen, Victoria, Cora, Arthur, Edgar, Harvey, Hiram, Maxwell, Oliver, Stanley, Rosa, Theodore, Vincent, Wyatt, Marilyn, Amelia, Dorothy, Edith, Evelyn, Gayle, Harriet, Iris, June, Lillian, Mabel, Ulysses

Retro Names-
Jason, Tina, Linda, Rick, Amy, Jerry, Steve, Cindy, Laura, Pam, Mike, David, Tom, Ken, Stephanie, Paul, Kyle, Colleen, Maureen, Lori, Kevin, Greg, Keith, Melissa, Jeff, Susan, Trent, Wendy, Chris, Gary, Brian, Kim, Sherry, Tim, Cheryl, Jim, Robert, Tracy, Kelly, Debbie, Chuck, Carrie, Tony, Ann, Tammy, Mark, John, Billy, Jay, Eric, Dan, Sandy, Don, Shawn, Marty, Julie, Karen, Jessica, Jane, Todd, Scott, Michelle, Brandon, Lisa, Debbie, Donna, Terry, Terri, Doug, Kristi, Dennis, Joe, Ray, Katie, Becky, Alicia, Barry, Elaine, Barb, Denise, Rhonda, Molly, Carly, Vicky

Modern Names-
Brandon, Justin, Jared, Ashley, Madison, Heather, Tiffany, Amber, Conner, Sophie, Ethan, Cameron, Aubrey, Savannah, Sierra, Autumn, Logan, Carson, Jeremy, Lauren, Chelsea, Wesley, Garrett, Alex, Elliott, Kierstyn, Meredith, Mia, Preston, Ashton, Thackston, Reese, Sasha, Turner, Zoey, Riley, Brandy, Kaitlyn, Chloe, Skyler, Kai, Miranda, Lexie, Paxton, Wilson, Carter, Keira, Quinn, Tiana, Addison, Berkley, Tyson, Jade, Bradley, Calyn, Terrence, Jamaal, Maddox, Zane, Alexis, Dexter, Zander, Hunter, Jayden, Sage, Dax, Ebony, Allie, Blake, Chase, Colby, Cade, Dalton, Jamison, Bryce, Kelsey, Cassidy, Mason, Paige, Reid, Tyler, Westin, Tristan, Austin, Jackson

As you read through the three categories of names, you can almost feel time shifting. With very few exceptions, there is very little crossover. Some names have withstood the test of time. Names like Michael, Emily, Emma, etc… But for the most part names come and names go. I don’t believe I will ever teach another Margaret, Ralph, Dennis or Susan. My classes will be filled with Ashleys, Logans, Hunters, Austins, and Sierras.

Names are funny. We never really give them much thought. However, when you look at them in the categories I’ve created, they really do tell a story.

What’s in a name? Everything!

Girl Scout Cookies

It's Girl Scout Cookie season. I've always heard the secret ingredient in all Girl Scout Cookies is crack cocaine. How else could they be so addictive? How else could innocent little girls sell millions of boxes of overpriced cookies every year? Why do you think people buy boxes of cookies by the dozen and freeze them to make them last longer? There really can be only one explanation... DRUGS! Those tasty little buggers are laced with addictive substances!

Pictured below you will see some photos that will cause you to crave Girl Scout Cookies. Proceed with caution! Also pictured below is the ever helpful chart showing Girl Scout Cookie and wine pairings. This chart has been proven to be particularly helpful to mothers of young children cooped up in the house during the winter months. It has been said that this chart has been responsible for saving the lives of countless toddlers who want to watch the same video for the billionth time as well as smart mouthed teenagers.

My personal favorite is Samoas. What's not to love about a cookie covered in caramel, chocolate and toasted coconut? The overall favorite of the American people is Thin Mints. They are not my favorite, but are apparently the best seller by a wide margin.

Yep!

Who could disagree?

I love signs!

I love signs. Especially when they contain typos or are just plain funny: