Phones

Cell phones continue to be a problem in my school (and I know we are not alone). Children are constantly sneaking their phones out in class and are even taking them to the restroom (in their pocket) and getting online from the restroom stalls. We've had instances of lost and allegedly stolen phones which brings all learning to a grinding halt. I can't imagine this will improve any time soon. In fact, I can only think things will get worse and worse. Children today have the world at their fingertips and can access the internet from any place that has wifi (which is practically everywhere nowadays). Not only that, kids are taking photos and taking video recordings of everything. The problem is growing into an epidemic.

My wife and I

I thought this little note did a good job describing Tami and me...

Schools Today

It's tough to argue with this... in fact, I wholeheartedly agree!

The winner!

Guess who won this round? I love the contrast of Daddy zonked out and Asher WIDE awake. In Barry's defense, this photo was taken on Easter which is a very long and busy day for a pastor. Daddy gets a pass on this one.

After Easter Funnies

I know Easter is over, but I just had to sneak in these last two funnies...

Happy Easter

Happy Easter, everyone! Today we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

He is risen!

He is risen indeed!

Hoppy Easter

You can't make this stuff up. Truth is stranger than fiction. Check out the story below of a fight that broke out at a New Jersey Mall. It involved the man wearing the Easter Bunny costume and one of the dads waiting in line for a photo. Think about this for a minute folks. Some guy decided to get into a donnybrook with s guy wearing a furry costume. And for what? A photograph? Surely there must be more to this story. There has to be a history here. Anyway, here's the story as it appeared in the news. HOPPY Easter!

The Easter bunny got caught up in a mall brawl in New Jersey, and it all apparently started with an angry dad.

Video posted on Twitter Sunday evening showed a chaotic scene at the Newport Centre in Jersey City, near an area set up to take photos with the Easter bunny.

It started when a 1-year-old girl slipped out of her chair after posing for a photo with the bunny, city spokeswoman Jennifer Morrill said. The girl's father reportedly shouted at the 22-year-old man in the costume, then started throwing punches.

The video showed the man wearing the body suit of the bunny costume -- but not the head -- fighting with the dad before security pulled the two men apart. A few seconds later, the man in the bunny costume appeared again, threw off his white bunny gloves and hurled more punches.

Wow! People never cease to amaze me.

Easter Weekend

As we enter into the holiest, most reverent and joyous weekend of the year, I give you this little gem:

So how did we get from the resurrection of Jesus Christ to a magical bunny who delivers baskets of colored eggs? Just wondering...

Fresh Mown Grass

There's nothing quite like the smell of fresh mown grass. Especially the first time the lawn is mown after the long winter. Today was the day I first mowed the lawn for the season. I love it! There was one snag however. My self-propelled mower has chosen not to propel itself this year. I'm no mechanic and I have no idea what the problem is. The mower started fine and when I squeezed the handle to start the mower forward, it gave a momentary lurch and then nothing happened. Not to be deterred, my self propelled mower instantly became a push mower. After much more work than I expected, the lawn has been mown for the first time this spring. Whether self-propelled or push... doesn't matter. I'm just happy to be doing yard work again.

What day is it?

I've always said teaching is a constant uphill battle. You know the odds are against you when the following happens:

This story is 100% absolutely and completely true. Here's the set up...

One of my students was absent on Monday. On Tuesday he returned to school. As any teacher does, I welcomed him back, told him we missed him, and inquired about the reason for his absence.

Me: Hey, Johnny! Welcome back! We missed you yesterday! Is everything okay?

Johnny: Yes.

Me: Were you sick yesterday?

Johnny: No.

Me: Well, where were you then?

Johnny: At home.

Me: At home? Goodness! I hope everything's alright.

Johnny: It is.

Me: So, why were you absent?

Johnny: Because it was Sunday.

Me: Sunday? Ummm... No. Yesterday was MONDAY.

Johnny: It was?

Me: Yes. It was.

Johnny: Oh. I thought it was Sunday.

Me: (walks away speechless and shaking my head).

Pizza Delivery

If you need further proof that I am teaching a generation of soft, spoiled, self-entitled children, then this story is for you.

Yesterday one of my students asked if he could call his mother because he didn't like what the school cafeteria was having for lunch. Keep in mind the students are given a monthly menu and are offered TWO choices every day, so he should have known ahead of time what his lunch options were. Regardless, I let him call because it has always been common practice to allow students to call their parents on such occasions. In most cases parents deliver a bagged lunch or tell the children to suck it up and eat what the cafeteria is offering. Yesterday we reached a new low. The school office received a call and was asked if a pizza could be delivered to the student. Yep. You read that right. This parent wanted to have a pizza delivered to her son in elementary school. Whatever happened to peanut butter or bologna sandwiches? If I had asked my parents to have a pizza delivered to school they would have laughed me off the face of the earth.

Thankfully, in her wisdom, my principal did not grant permission for a pizza delivery to the school. She correctly stated this was not a practice we wanted to get started. This sort of thing tends to snowball and if permission had been granted, other children would have followed suit. In a matter of weeks we would have had pizza delivery drivers knocking down our doors.

I'm going to say this one more time for emphasis and to let you absorb the pure absurdity... a 4th grader wanted to have a pizza delivered to him for lunch at school. Sheesh!

Happy Spring!

In honor of the arrival of my second favorite season, here's a poem my dad used to quote...

Spring has sprung, the grass has riz.
I wonder where all the birdies is?

Some credit Ogden Nash with penning this short little beauty, but there seems to be some controversy over the poem's true author. It makes no difference to me. All I know is winter has met its death once again. In spring, as the Reds prepare for yet another baseball season, hope springs eternal.

On a serious note, I must admit that spring really gives me a good feeling because of new life. Yes, trees, bushes, grass, flowers, and everything else comes back to life after a long, dark, cold winter. That's reason enough for being happy. But today I also rejoice in the new life I am given through the sacrificial death and resurrection of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. It is through the blood of God's one and only Son that I am given new life.

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

OCD

For my OCD brothers and sisters out there. This one's for you!

Boing!

Boing! Spring arrives tomorrow! Hallelujah!

Things are starting to green up and it will be grass mowing season before you know it!

The Ohio state flower is starting to bloom as well:

White cars

A long while back I posted a photo of a "car graveyard" with all yellow cars. Well, guess what? I found all the white cars too!

Asher Morton

I have a busy day and evening with parent/teacher conferences today. This post will be short, but cute. Not to neglect the other two grandchildren, but don't we always fawn all over new babies? It just happens to be Asher's turn.

Cute photo

There has to be a funny caption here somewhere...
How about, "Whoa, Mom! Are THOSE Ray-Bans???"

Kitchen Remodel

The kitchen remodel continues in the Meyer house. Giving credit where credit is due, I must brag on my wonderful wife. She did every bit of the work herself. I am especially impressed with her custom backsplash. it is 100% her own creation My role was mostly advisory and lending a hand (Honey, come here and hold this please...) when needed. We essentially have a new kitchen for about 230 bucks. This is far from a finished project. The walls still need to be painted, switch plate covers need to be replaced and touch ups need to be done. Here are the before and after photos of the project thus far.

BEFORE

CABINETS ONLY- Counters, backsplash, and window frame not yet done...

AFTER

Vote for Pinestraw!

In honor of the primary elections today in Ohio, Florida, Illinois, Missouri, and North Carolina, I am making the following post. Given the current choices, I was going to vote for "None of the above", but that was before a new candidate emerged. I am now voting for Pinestraw! Who's with me?

PINESTRAW for President!

Photos from home

It's Monday and I am at work where I belong. Tami is home babysitting the grandkids today and she sent me the photo below. What Goppa wouldn't be thrilled to see this at work? It completely made my day! To top it off, Sveta was sending me text messages scolding me about texting at work, telling me I was wasting time and that I should be teaching instead of texting. What a little whippersnapper! I can't wait to get home to see them. It will be a welcome sight after a long day at work. Here's Asher giving me "The Buzz".

The "Selfie" generation

This is the generation of the selfie. The age where people spend more time taking pictures of themselves than almost any other activity. Personally, I cannot stand selfies. I think they are self-centered and vanity ridden. I can't imagine being so enamored with myself that I feel the need to take my own photograph and share it with the world on Facebook. We now live in the age where people take photos of their food at a restaurant and share it with their friends. To be honest, I truly do not care if one of my friends got an amazing rack of ribs at the local BBQ joint. Tell me later how delicious they were. That's all I need. Nor do I care to see a photo of you standing in front of the Eiffel Tower at Kings Island. Tell me later what a good time you had. That's enough for me. Finally I do not need photos of just you mugging for the camera. Ladies, the duck face is not cute and guys, the tough look is not macho. Use your phone for its primary function. Call me! I'd love to talk to you!

How to be a gentleman- Part 8

Getting sick of this yet? There is a lot to being a gentleman and it's HARD work!

Use good grammar. Yes, I'm serious. It doesn't take a lot of effort to speak correctly and she'll appreciate it when you do. "I ain't got no time to take out the trash" makes you sound ignorant. "I'm sorry, honey, I don't have time to take out the trash right now" is much more intelligent sounding. A gentleman knows how to speak proper english.

Accept her for who she is (warts and all). You have plenty of your own warts, don't give her a hard time about hers. "Honey, should you REALLY be eating that cake?" is not what she needs to hear. She is painfully aware of every pound she has put on since your wedding day. You are not exactly a picture of fitness either. Besides, you don't want her asking if you REALLY need to be drinking that beer, do you? Accept every gray hair, wrinkle, and extra pound. She earned every bit of it.

Call her beautiful instead sexy or hot (and yes, there IS a difference). Women want to be beautiful. They spend thousands of dollars a year on make-up, hair appointments, skin creams, clothing and countless other things. Calling a woman beautiful flatters her. Calling her hot or sexy sometimes makes you sound like a hound dog (guilty as charged, Your Honor). Don't get me wrong, the descriptors of hot or sexy have their place and I've used them many times. It's just that telling her she is beautiful carries a completely different connotation. Learn the difference.

Never make excuses. Accept responsibility for your actions. Be a man and own up to the things you do. It's okay to be wrong and it's even more okay to admit it. What woman doesn't like hearing a man admit he is wrong?

Always put her needs first. No exceptions. She is your Queen and she is to be treated as such. No matter what her needs are, work like crazy to fulfill them. Be selfless and put your own needs after hers.

Let her sleep. Get up and make breakfast for the kids and make a pot of coffee. Give her the opportunity to get some extra rest and give her the pleasure of walking to the coffee pot and pouring a fresh cup without having to make it herself. She has spent her entire life as a mother being sleep deprived. Give her a chance to rest when you can. Trust me. She did the same for you at some point and you probably don't even know it.

Do the dishes without her asking you to. It doesn't make you a girly-man to help out with housework. Something as simple as doing the dishes does a world of good. Imagine the smile on her face when she walks into the kitchen where she left a pile of dirty dishes and now they are gone. Imagine the relief she will feel when that chore is taken off her plate (pun intended). It's a simple act, but one that can really help her out.

The spinning stopped

For anyone concerned, I am feeling much, much better today. Last night my world was spinning in a dizzying whirl and it lasted for about five hours. I have no idea what caused the vertigo and I don't believe it will come back. Being dizzy is a horrible feeling and I wouldn't want to go through that ever again.

No post tonight

Sorry, folks. No post tonight. Feeling a bit under the weather. Nothing serious. Just a minor episode of vertigo that hijacked me out of nowhere. No worries. I'll be feeling better tomorrow.

Approach the bench

Tami bought a new piece of furniture last night. It was a massive buffet that took every ounce of strength Michael and I had to lug it into the house. No exaggeration... this thing is a BEAST! In fact it is so large that we have all agreed that it looks like a judge's bench in a courtroom. I came home from work today to find this... All rise for Judge Judy! Court is in session! ***Note the attention to detail with the gavel*** Good one, family!

Baseball

Going to a baseball game can be more dangerous than you think. Batted balls and even bats themselves can go into the stands with deadly force. This week a tragedy nearly occurred at a spring training game when a batter lost his grip on the bat and it went hurtling into the crowd. A quick thinking man saved the head and face of a young boy. Kudos to this guy for his quick reflexes!

Hilarious

I have no idea if this photo is real, but if it is... this is HILARIOUS!

My weird sense of humor

I know I have a weird sense of humor. This one just struck me funny...

Falling Rock

We've all seen these signs as we drive south on I-75 through Kentucky and Tennessee. Watch for Falling Rock. If you're like me, you never really give them a second thought. However, rock slides are way more common than we realize (why do you think they they put up signs?)

Last week a rock slide closed I-75 in Campbell County, Tennessee (Near Jelico). It is supposed to keep the interstate closed for several weeks. It really is scary to think of humongous boulders tumbling down onto your car. The photo below is not the rockslide in Tennessee, but it certainly drives home the message. Watch for falling rock indeed!

How to be a gentleman- Part 7

After a brief hiatus, the series continues...

This is a big one fellas. Never ever ever ever raise your hand to a woman. No matter how angry she makes you, no matter how exasperating she can be, don't ever strike a woman (not even in jest). There's not much else to be said on the topic. It's never okay to hit a woman (even if she slapped you first). If she slapped you, chances are good that you probably deserved it.

Be spontaneous. Call from work and tell her to not cook dinner. Tell her you're taking her out to eat at the restaurant of her choice. Planned nights out are great, but an unexpected reprieve from cooking dinner can make her very happy. Buy her something she wasn't expecting (it doesn't have to be expensive). She'll love the fact that she didn't have to ask you for it or buy it herself. Suggest you go for a walk on a nice day. It will give you a chance to talk while enjoying God's beautiful creation together. Being spontaneous is a good thing and something I really need to work on. I tend to plan things to death and that's not always a recipe for happy times.

Along the same lines... make decisions. Women do not always want to make all the decisions. That's way too much pressure. Take the reins and make some decisions. You won't always make the right decision, but she'll appreciate having some help in the decision making department.

Smile at her. Let her know you enjoy being in her presence. Let her know you are happy to be married to her. Let her know she makes you smile. This is another area I need to improve. For some reason I have a perpetual scowl on my face. Usually it's because I'm deep in thought and rarely because I'm mad. I also think I have to be so stern at work that I sometimes forget to take off my scowling teacher face and put on my smiling husband face. Remember guys, a little smile can go a long way.

Don't take her for granted. She works hard and many times she works hard at thankless jobs. Let her know she is appreciated and don't assume she is going to wait on you hand and foot every hour of the day. You'll never really know how much she does, but don't learn the hard way by taking her for granted. If she were to magically disappear, you'd learn real fast how much she does for you and the children.

Hug her. Hug her for no apparent reason. Hug when she expects it and when she doesn't. Just don't hug her when she's busy and your hug impedes her progress. Don't ask me how I know this. Take my word for it. I just do.

Hey, you're mopping the floor? How about a hug?
Hey, you have to use the restroom? How about a hug first?
The pot on the stove is boiling over? Want a hug?

Dreaming

On yet another dreary winter day in the midwest, I can only dream of places like this... *sigh*

Fresca

I was drinking Fresca yesterday when Elliott asked me for a drink. I told him I didn't think he would like it. It is grapefruit flavored... Not something a two year old would normally like. But he persisted and I of course relented 😋. He took a drink and made a face. I asked him if he liked it. He said it was a little bit oowee (or is that ewee?). However you pronounce it, it rhymes with chewy. I thought he was sufficiently deterred, but I was wrong. He came back for more. I guess it wasn't THAT bad. I liken this to Bud Light for me. As beer goes, I do not care for it, but I don't dislike it enough to not drink it when there is nothing else to choose from. And now that I think of it... This is the same kid who eats raw lemons. No wonder Elliott didn't mind drinking grapefruit soda.

Politicians

Let's take a break from "How to be a gentleman" today.

Have you been paying attention to the candidates vying for the nomination to run for President? What a joke and abject disaster. Look, mud slinging has always been a part of campaigning, but what is going on this year is disgraceful. These people are acting like a bunch of pre-schoolers. Recent debates have sounded a lot like this:

You're a Doody Head, Donald Trump!

Nuh-uh!

Yuh-huh!

Stop calling me Doody Head.

No! You DOUBLE Doody Head!

I am rubber, you are glue. What you say bounces off me and sticks to you!

Shut up! (sticks out tongue)

No! You shut up! (sticks out tongue and flaps hands on side of head)

No YOU shut up!

Exaggeration? Yes, but the antics of these so-called politicians is embarrassing. Let's not talk about fixing our country. Let's call each other names and whine and cry about it. What is this country coming to?

Big time day!

Abby getting her tonsils out should be enough excitement for one day. However, there was much more that happened. Barry took Sveta skiing and Jessi brought Asher and Elliott to the house. We all had a nice visit and dinner together. The highlight of the evening was watching Abby eat ice cream and popsicles. Here are the kids. Elliott is wearing doll glasses and he said, "I da teacher!"                                                                                                            

No more tonsils!

Abby had minor surgery today. Well, I say minor because it wasn't my tonsils that were sliced out of my throat. Abby underwent an elective tonsillectomy today and things went well. I received a text from Tami that said everything went well. She also said Abby is "chatting up a storm". There goes my dream of just one day of peace and quiet. Haha! Just kidding. To get serious for a moment, I am truly thankful Abby came through her surgery ok. Any time your child goes under anesthesia, you worry. In God's goodness, Abby is now rid of her over-sized tonsils. She was born with monstrous tonsils and they have always given her trouble.

Here she is enjoying some popsicles and recovering.

How to be a gentleman- Part 6

I hope this isn't starting to bore you, but I think it's good stuff and really important as well.

Without further adieu... Part 6

Notice the little things. Pay attention to what's going on around you and comment accordingly. Women spend a lot of time worrying about their hair (and spend more money on it than us guys too). If she got a haircut, compliment her on it if you like it. If she took extra time cleaning the house or cooking your favorite dish, let her know you noticed the effort. If she sacrificed a part of her self for your sake or the children's sake, acknowledge the act. Don't walk around with your head in the clouds, guys. Notice her and what she does.

Pray with her and for her. I do a good job of praying FOR her, but a terrible job of praying WITH her. Once again in an effort to be completely transparent, I admit this is a terrible weakness of mine. Remember my "Do as I say, not as I do" disclaimer? The shoe fits here and I'm wearing it.

Carry things for her. I know this one is cliche', but do it. She took the trouble to go to the grocery store. Consider she already loaded the groceries off the shelf and into the cart. Then she unloaded the cart at the checkout lane. Then she loaded the bags into the car. After all of that, the least you can do is carry the groceries from the car into the house and then help with putting the groceries away. If she is carrying ANYTHING... take it from her and carry it. She may insist she doesn't need your assistance. That's fine, but offer anyway.

In that same vein... open doors for her. Cliche' again. I know. The ladies nowadays don't expect men to open doors for them. That makes it all the more important. Walk a few steps ahead and open the door for her. She will appreciate your attention to what seems to be a lost practice. Let her know that you are still a gentleman and still willing to treat her like the lady she is.

This one may seem redundant, but here goes anyway. Compliment her... often! Not just her looks either. Compliment her hair and clothing of course, but don't forget her cooking, her housework, her attention to things us guys never even think about. Compliment the way she smells (is that new perfume, Honey?). Compliment her skills as a mother and a wife (again, mostly things guys never give a second thought to). Compliment her choice of TV shows and movies (if you're like me, the movies guys choose are usually not that good). Once again, be genuine. Don't lay it on so thick that you seem like a phony. Also, don't compliment her only when you are looking for something in return (you know what I mean guys).

Here's a catch-all. Do whatever it takes to make her happy. This one is different for each woman. Listen for clues and you will have a good idea of what it takes to keep her happy. If she comments that a burger on a TV looks enticing, grill burgers for dinner. If she laments the leaky bathroom faucet... fix it today (not tomorrow). If she comments that the kids are driving her crazy, take the kids out for a daddy date and give her some much needed alone time.

I will close with a simple and obvious one. Put the toilet seat DOWN. One late night butt-dunk into cold toilet water and she will make sure you learn your lesson. I promise.

How to be a gentleman- Part 5

After yesterday’s break, here is part 5…

Have good hygiene. Remember when you were dating and you always wanted to impress her? You always smelled good, had a good shave, and kept your nails neat and trim. Well, that should never change. Don’t stop taking care of yourself just because you’ve been married a long time. Don’t let yourself go. Your toenails should not resemble the talons of a bird of prey. Keep yourself clean. She doesn’t want to be near you if you smell like a goat (no offense to our goat friends out there). Brush your teeth. She doesn’t want to see or smell what you had for lunch yesterday. Good hygiene does not mean femininity. It means taking care of yourself so you are not offensive to her. Intimacy starts with good hygiene (and that goes both ways).

Do things she enjoys (even if you are not thrilled about it). Trust me fellas. She’s endured plenty of ball games and other things you find enjoyable. Unless she’s a true sports nut, she would probably have rather been doing something else. It’s not going to kill you to tag along on something she likes to do. Only doing what you like to do is selfish. Don’t be selfish. It’s not a nice quality and she won’t appreciate that quality in you.

Give her your jacket if she’s cold. By nature, men are warmer than women. Maybe it’s that extra layer of blubber that beer placed around our midsections. Anyway, don’t chastise her for not being prepared for cooler temperatures. Sometimes restaurants crank their air conditioners to ridiculous levels and they can’t help but feel cold. Wrap your jacket around her shoulders and give her a reassuring hug to warm her up. Who cares if you are cold as a result. Put up with a bit of discomfort for her sake.

Send her flowers. In an effort to be totally transparent, the number of times I have sent flowers to Tami can be counted on one hand. It just doesn’t do a lot for her. But the few times I HAVE sent them, she has liked it (she just didn’t like the credit card bill that followed). Anyway, send her flowers when she least expects them. It lets her know you are thinking of her more than just on her birthday and your anniversary.

In like a lion

You know the old saying... March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. That should hold true this year with thunderstorms predicted for today and a change to snow overnight. It's not expected to be a lot, but any snow is too much snow.

I have a very busy day and night, so there will be no "How to be a gentleman" post today. You probably need a break from it anyway.

For now, just a few photos of some of my favorite people:
Elliott learned to curl his tongue...