Kermit for President!

These Muppets have uncanny likenesses to their human counterparts. At this point, who knows what to think about the Presidential election process?

Kermit the Frog for President!

Giggle!

I love stuff like this!

Obvious!

I love these obvious signs!

Back to school

Being a teacher is an honorable, respectable, rewarding, and sometimes maddening profession. For all the stress it brings, it is still a really good job and a career that no person should ever have cause to be ashamed of. There are so many good things about teaching (if there weren't, I never would have survived for 26 years). However, one of the things I've never enjoyed about the teaching profession is continuing education. I know that sounds like an oxymoron... a teacher opposed to the continuation of his/her learning. I'm not opposed to learning and I believe a person NEVER stops learning. What I'm opposed to is being forced to take college courses for the purpose of recertification every five years. If I felt these courses were beneficial or enhanced my teaching in some way, I'd be all for them. This is usually not the case though. These courses normally involve material that is not pertinent to what I'm teaching in my classroom. I'm convinced this is nothing more than a money grab by the state department of education (it costs more than $200 to renew my license every 5 years) and by institutions of so-called higher learning. My former principal used to joke that schools that offer courses for recertification have more employees hired to count money than to teach and grade the course work. Although spoken in jest, it does paint a picture of how valuable (or not) these continuing education courses are.

Now that I've said all that, guess what time it is for me? That's right. Time for me to renew my teaching license. Today I received in the mail my text books and syllabus for the course I will complete in the next few months. When finished, I will be a licensed teacher for another five years (and then I will complete the same process again when my license expires in the year 2021). The tables are turned today, folks. The teacher becomes the student and this teacher will be doing homework instead of assigning it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm late for class. On a brighter note, it looks like I'll be the big man on campus this year. Not bad for a 49 year old, fat, gray haired, balding college student who has a date with a beautiful 51 year old co-ed (aka my wife :-)

Dreaming of vacation

As the end of the school year rapidly approaches, I am naturally allowing my mind to drift to dreams of vacation. Unfortunately a REAL vacation is not in the cards for the Meyer family this year. I don't tell you this so you will feel sorry for us. It's actually quite the contrary. We are so happy with our home in beautiful Hidden Valley Lake and we are so thankful for all we have. We are satisfied with our own little backyard paradise and we lack for nothing. I do not covet my neighbor's house or vacation home. However, I do present to you the following photos... not because I wish I had something better than we already have, but because it's fun to dream about taking a vacation to places like these. Who wants to go with me? I like #3, #6 and #7 best!

Grammar Snob

I admit it and I am proud of it. I am a grammar snob! It's not because I think I'm better than anyone else, but because I think knowing the basics of the english language is not that difficult. It doesn't take a genius to understand the fundamentals of our language. Take for instance the sign below. This is a professional sign painted on a brick wall in a place of business. Can you spot the errors? That's right. It should read "you're" not "your". How hard can it be? You're is the contraction of you are. For example, "If you're not careful, you will spill your juice". Your is the possessive of something that belongs to you. For example, "Remember to wear your coat because it is cold". Come on people! This isn't that tough! All we have to do is use our heads a little bit!

Like losing a friend

I do not put much stock in celebrities. I could not care less about pop culture icons, famous actors, famous singers or famous athletes. In fact, it doesn't thrill me one bit to meet people like this. They put their pants on one leg at a time just like I do. They will also ultimately meet their maker one day just as I will. This is why the recent passing of Prince didn't have much of an affect on me. Oh sure, I like a few of his songs and I think he was a tremendous musical talent. But I just don't find myself distraught because somebody like Prince passed away. As always though, there are exceptions. One of my exceptions passed away Saturday morning. Channel 12 weatherman and local television personality, Tim Hedrick died after a long battle with what is being reported as an elusive disease. Tim came to Cincinnati in 1988 and built his image as "Doppler Tim" and was know for his "Grillin' with Tim" events each week during the warm months. I have spent my entire adult life getting my weather forecasts from Tim Hedrick. He was partially responsible for my fascination with the weather and everything weather related. I never met Tim Hedrick and I never made it my goal to do so. He seemed like a wonderful man and by all accounts he was the same guy both on and off camera. I'm not sure why his passing saddened me so much. Maybe it's because he was "in my living room" 5 or 6 nights a week for the last 28 years. Maybe it's because he was one of those rare and genuine "nice guys". It doesn't really matter why. I just know it feels like I lost a friend and I am sure I am among the many thousands of people in the Cincinnati area who feel the same way. Goodbye, Tim. You will be greatly missed. My weather forecasts will never be the same.

Avocado

You KNOW how much I like funny signs...

Owl Say!

Get a plastic owl they said. It will help keep unwanted birds away they said. Yeah, right!

Two Tests Down

My students took the second part of the BIG state test today and I am beginning to think the deck is stacked against me. Things did not go well and here's what happened: For starters, there is no school tomorrow and the test was given on the afternoon of the day before a three day weekend. My students were very wound up and as a result were not in the proper frame of mind to take an important test. Second the testing room was very hot and stuffy. The students spent more time whining about being hot than putting effort into the test. Third, shortly after the test began an ambulance came screaming into the school parking lot for a sick child. This was tremendously distracting and my students were desperately trying to see what was happening and not worried so much about performing on the test. Finally, I had several students finish way more quickly than they should have. In turn this caused other students to rush through the test just for the sake of being finished. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not an excuse maker and I'm not saying my students would have done any better without the factors listed above. But I sure could have done without all the extra distractions. My students have a difficult enough time without the extra obstacles. Only time will tell if my students were adversely affected today.

One test down

The first test has been completed. As expected, some kids gave it all they had while others were less than stellar in their effort. This was a 90 minute test. Some students used most of that time. Others "finished" in 15-20 minutes. How in the world a child can finish a 90 minute test in less than 20 minutes is beyond me. One of the test items was a multi paragraph essay. The instructions clearly stated the essay had to be multi paragraph. Some students wrote as little as a few sentences and one little stinker wrote nothing. That's right. I said nothing. Now the only thing I can do is wait for test results. They will probably arrive early in the summer. I cannot worry about things out of my control. What is done is done.

This is it!

Tomorrow and Thursday my students take the state standardized test in Reading. This one test (taken in two parts) is how my worth as a teacher will be measured. That's right, people. I work and work all year long and my performance will be judged by one test. Keep in mind this test is administered on a computer and my students will scroll and click quickly through the test just for the sake of being finished. Less than half will give full effort. Many will not fully read the passages and others will not write (type) sufficient responses to writing prompts simply because they are too lazy and do not feel like doing it. Also keep in mind I will have students coming to school sleep-deprived, tired, hungry, angry, sad, hyper, bored, apathetic and every other emotion and condition known to human kind. Yet, in a few short hours, my job performance will be based solely on this test. My reputation as a teacher lies solely with a group of 4th graders who may or may not decide to put any thought into the most critical test of the year. If my students bomb the test, there will be no responsibility placed on the students who were disruptive or paid little attention to instruction. All responsibility will be placed squarely on MY shoulders. For example if my students are asked to identify similes or metaphors on the test and they fail miserably, people will want to know why I didn't properly prepare my students for the test (even though I taught similes and metaphors extensively and have reviewed them every day for the last week and a half). My methods in the classroom will be scrutinized and I will be asked what I should do differently in the future to properly prepare my students for the test. If this all sounds a little crazy, you'd be correct. Instead of looking at my body of work as a whole and looking at the growth my students have shown throughout the year, my job performance will be based on a test where my students either pass or fail based on a predetermined score set by government entities that have probably never set foot in a 4th grade classroom or at least haven't been in one in the last 30 years. But take heart ladies and gentlemen. I have worked myself to a frazzle and have poured my heart and soul into teaching these students what they need to know. I have given them the tools necessary to pass the test. The rest is up to them. Any wonder why my hair is turning gray and falling out?

Talk about the weather

I have always been a bit of a weather junkie. I love to watch the weather. I love to watch the forecast on the news. And I like to talk about the weather.

The weather conditions the last three days have been as close to perfect as you can get. High 70's and low 80's. Clear, blue skies. Slight breeze blowing and no humidity. Pure heaven! I could handle a steady dose of these weather conditions. It brings to mind the easiest job in the world... Weather forecaster in San Diego, California. They only have two weather forecasts in San Diego. Nice and even nicer than yesterday. The weather we are enjoying right now is what San Diego gets year round. Wow! I wonder if they know how good they've got it? I doubt it. But for now, I will enjoy (if only for a short time) the beautiful weather the Lord has blessed us with. Glorious!

Outside!

Let's file this one under, "They learn early".

We got word yesterday that Elliott said he wanted to sit outside on the porch so that he could "read a book and enjoy his evening". Yes, he really did say he wanted to enjoy his evening. Our first reaction was that he was stuck indoors and was desperately scheming a way to get himself outside in the beautiful weather. That was not the case at all. In fact, the whole family was already outside doing yard work and Elliott (who is all of two years old), was looking for a way to weasel out of helping out. Yep! Two years old and already hatching plans to get out of work. What a smart kid! However, he is in for some tough lessons in the future. His mom and dad are already hip to his sly ways and will not be allowing him to skate free of his chores.

But hey... who can blame the kid? When it's 75 degrees and sunny, who doesn't want to sit outside and enjoy the evening?

Welcome Home!

After three and a half months in Bradenton, Florida, my mom and her husband Cliff arrived back home in Cincinnati tonight. Welcome home! I can't wait to see you two!

Lady Di

This joke nearly wrote itself. It was just too easy. Where's a caption contest when you need one?

"Call me Diana one more time... I DARE YOU!"

Scary, but true

Given the current state of our government (Democrats and Republicans alike...), I thought this was sadly appropriate and sadly true.

Adults in charge

Oh, how I long for the days when grown-ups were in charge! I know we can never go back, but I sure can wish for a better future.

Ronald Reagan and the Iron Lady. Now THESE were leaders who didn't take any guff off of anyone. How do you think Reagan and Thatcher would have responded to the Russian war planes buzzing a U.S. Navy vessel in international waters? What do you think would have happened after the terrorist bombing in Belgium? Dancing the tango in Rio or hobnobbing with murdering dictators in Cuba at a baseball game? I don't think so. I sure miss the days when nobody gave the U.S. any crud because they knew there was a price to be paid if they did.

College Debt

As I watch my eldest daughter paying college debt well into her adult life, and as I watch Michael continuing his college education (and having already built up some debt), it makes me think this is a real problem. Abby is working very hard to avoid any debt (smart!) and will try to keep it that way. The graphic below caused me to rethink the idea of college debt. What a disservice to young people starting their adult lives behind the eight ball.

Math

I was never any good at math and I'm still not. Don't get me wrong. I can do math and have enough knowledge to get me through life. I just don't have a mathematical, analytical mind. I'm more of a language person. I love the written and spoken word. I guess that's why I found this so entertaining.

Anywhere but here

It's Monday. It's cold. It's gloomy. It's raining cats and dogs. My mom reports it's 80 and sunny in Bradenton, Florida. Right now I wish I was anywhere but here.

This place would do...

Attitude Problem

We had the family over yesterday and it was so good to see all three grandchildren. I'm not sure what's going on with Asher though. He seems less than thrilled in this photo. We seem to think he has developed an attitude problem. So, how do you really feel, Asher?

Funny!

It's a busy day, so I'll just post this funny snippet from the Judge Judy Show. Most criminals aren't very smart (Duh! That's why they're criminals!)
Sorry it's so small. Just squint or something :-)

Eat Mor Chikin

Chick-fil-A has a brilliant ad campaign... cows holding up handwritten (or should I say hoof written?) signs that say, "Eat Mor Chikin!". I just had to post this photo of my grandson, Asher, holding a stuffed cow from Chick-fil-A. All I can say is if Chick-fil-a doesn't hire him as a spokesperson, they are making a huge mistake. Who could look at this photo and not want to run out and get a chicken sandwich? This child could make them a gazillion dollars.
Eat Mor Chikin!"

The Hungry Fish

So this happened...

The report out of Greensburg is that Elliott dumped an entire container of fish food into a friend's aquarium. I guess he thought the fish looked hungry. It may not seem funny to you, but knowing my grandson, I find it hilarious.

Ask my mom about the time little Mickey (yeah, that would be me) threw a golf ball through his grandparents aquarium. I don't remember it, but I've heard it caused quite the mess.

Ol' Elliott is taking after his Goppa!

Prayer needed

Please pray for my sister-in-law, Terri Randall. She has been sick for many months and doctors have been unable to pinpoint what is ailing her. This morning things came to a head when we thought she was having a stroke. By day's end a stroke was ruled out and a neuromuscular disease is now suspected. There are many types and degrees of neuromuscular diseases and we are awaiting test results to zero in on what is going on with her health. Please join me in praying for Terri, her doctors and our family.

Hacked!

I'm sure you heard the recent story and subsequent lawsuit where the U.S. government wanted Apple to help them hack into the iPhone of the San Bernardino terrorists. In time the FBI was able crack the iPhone's security and the lawsuit was dropped. As it turns out there was a simpler solution to the problem right under our noses the whole time.

A new season

I think we should create a new season. We could call it "Sprinter". Sprinter because the calendar says spring, but the weather says winter. On Saturday the high temperature is only supposed to be about 38 with a low of 20. Sub freezing temperatures in mid-April. Say it ain't so! Wake me up when spring returns. UGH!

Case in point!

Remember what I said about kids playing hooky on Opening Day? Well, I had 6 students absent today. I have no idea if they all attended Opening Day festivities, but 6 out of 22 students is a lot. That's 27% of my class. It's difficult to teach with more than a quarter of your class missing. I just have to catch those kids up the next day. I still say Opening Day should be a city wide holiday. Who's with me?

It's a holiday!

Today is a holiday, and yet I have to work. There's something wrong with this picture. Well, okay, it's not exactly an officially recognized holiday, but it should be. Today is Opening Day for my beloved Cincinnati Reds. Today is the day when winter comes to an end, spring arrives, and baseball makes its glorious reappearing for another season. Today is the day hope springs eternal. Today the Reds have just as much chance of winning the World Series as anybody else. This will not be the case in few weeks, but hey, a guy can dream, right? Welcome back, baseball! I sure have missed you!

And about that holiday thing? For all intents and purposes the city shuts down for Opening Day. The festivities start early in the morning. There is the Findlay Market Opening Day Parade. There is a sea of red downtown as fans swarm to the area in and around Great American Ballpark. I am certain productivity is drastically down at every company and business around the tri-state today. Today is the one day where many students play hooky and teachers are not only okay with it, but they salivate with jealousy as some of their students enjoy the day while they are stuck indoors working (*SIGH*). Yes, I am speaking form personal experience. I have students who informed me last week they would not be in school today. They excitedly told me they were going to the parade and the game (and I smiled, congratulated them and silently died a little inside). Oh to be 9 years old and carefree again! When my only worry was how many hot dogs I would get or what flavor Sno-cone to choose.

Happy Opening Day everybody! Now if you'll excuse me, work is about to begin and I have a job to do. Go Reds!

Tornado!

The date was April 3rd, 1974. On this date 42 years ago, the midwest experienced the most widespread and worst tornado outbreak in U.S. history. I was seven years old and I remember my dad calling my mom from work and telling us to get into the basement. He stood at the St. Bernard Fire Department and watched a tornado heading up I-75. As it turned out, that tornado did not strike St. Bernard, but it did hit nearby Elmwood Place. That same day tornadoes struck Xenia, Sayler Park and countless other locations across the eastern half of our nation. It is a day I will never forget and I always think of it on this date.

Vlad

Many years ago when I started dating Tami, I was surprised to find out she used an inhaler for asthma. There was nothing wrong with that, it's just that I'd never known anyone who used one. Of course I had to make it into some kind of joke. I've always had a goofy sense of humor and I used it in this case. When Tami would ask me to retrieve her inhaler, I'd simply grab it, hand it to her and say, "Here's Vlad!". Vlad?, she asked. "Yes, Vlad the inhaler". If you don't get the joke, don't feel bad. Many people didn't. Vlad the inhaler is a play on the name Vlad the Impaler (aka Count Dracula). I have called Tami's inhaler, Vlad, for more than 25 years. You can imagine my surprise and delight when I stumbled upon the image below. I couldn't believe somebody else made the same joke.
Here some jokester took an image of Vlad the Impaler and put it on an inhaler.

Reagan

With the recent passing of former First Lady, Nancy Reagan, and with a Presidential election looming (where we wish we could find another Ronald Reagan), I thought about the quote below. I'm not sure when Reagan said this (heck, I'm not even sure he really said it at all), but it got me thinking about teaching. There seems to be this mentality in the field of education that we can absolutely help every child in every way possible. When we (as teachers) see one of students that has gone down the wrong path, we always say the same thing. "We can't save 'em all!". That's not to say we don't try to help every child in every possible way (we do!), but if a teacher believes he/she can fix and/or save every child that walks through the door, they will drive themselves crazy and exhaust themselves in vain. The job of a teacher is to give 100% effort every day and to do everything in his/her power to steer the child in the right direction and to give them the tools necessary to be successful in life. The rest is up to the child and the decisions he or she makes as they grow older. As for me, I will do my best today (and every day) to help the children in my classroom.