Silly Songs

I admit it. Teachers are a STRANGE bunch. We do lots of things to relieve stress and bring humor to our otherwise stressful jobs. One of those things is to write silly songs about our bosses and perform them at special functions. One such function is our upcoming staff Christmas breakfast. This breakfast is held every year on the last day before Christmas break. The staff enjoys a nice meal prepared and provided by our administrators, then we make merry for a little while before going to work on our last day. Some of this making merry involves singing the aforementioned silly songs about our bosses. Needless to say everybody is always loose and in a good mood on this day. With a two week vacation on the horizon, spirits are high and people are ready for a funny little ditty.

A good teacher friend of mine, Mrs. Tuell usually writes the songs and she and I perform them for the staff. The songs are often written to the tune of well known songs. These songs usually have funny lyrics and involve inside jokes. The staff loves them. Most of the time the jokes are about teaching or education in general, but sometimes they get downright personal (in a good-natured way, of course). Below is a sample of one of this year's songs. It's a song about my boss, Mr. Conners. Incidentally, I wrote THIS one. Yes, I know it's bad, but it's fun nevertheless. Like I said, some of the lyrics are inside jokes and it won't be nearly as humorous to you. But you'll get the idea...

To the tune of, "Grandma got run over by a reindeer".

Mr. Conners got run over by a reindeer

CHORUS
Mr. Conners got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our school Christmas Eve
You can say there’s no such thing as Santa,
But as for we and Ms. Clemons, we believe

He’d been drinking too much Diet Coke
And we begged him not to go
But he grabbed a bag of M&M’s
And stumbled across the bridge into the snow

When they found him Christmas morning
He was beat up it was said
There were hoof prints on his hiney
And reindeer droppings on his head

CHORUS

Now we’re all so proud of Ms. Clemons
She’s been taking this so well
See her there watching the Bengals
Drinking juice and waving her orange towel

It’s not Christmas without Conners
All the staff is dressed in black
And we just can’t help but wonder
Should we drink his Coke or take it back?

CHORUS

Now his family is in mourning
And his boys are quite morose
They’ll have to sell his Honda
And all his Tiger gear and purple clothes

We’ve warned all his friends and neighbors
Better watch out for those deer
They trampled Mr. Conners
And stole his candy and his beer

CHORUS