Gone half my life

August 31, 1990. 23 years ago today my dad passed away. I am 46 years old, so this means my dad has been gone for exactly half my life. I miss him every day and on many occasions wish he could be around to see certain aspects of my life. I wish he could see himself as a great-grandpa and see me as a grandpa. I wish he could see my family and the successes we've been blessed with. I wish he could so many things. I miss my dad so much.

Thank Goodness!

Tomorrow marks the end of my second week of school. Thank Goodness for Labor Day! At this point I am so thankful for a three day weekend. The long weekend makes next week a four day week. Four day work weeks always beat five day work weeks. I'm not lazy folks. I'm just getting older and these kids are really starting to take it out of me. I am more tired at the end of a school day now more than ever before. I was always tired when I got home from work, but NEVER like this. It also doesn't help that the temperature in my classroom is 85 degrees (no exaggeration here, folks). It's miserable. The kids are miserable and so am I. It's especially difficult after lunch. The kids' bellies are full, the classroom is a sweatbox and everybody's groggy. Not exactly an environment conducive to lively, educational lessons. I love summer, but now that school is back in session, I will welcome some cooler temperatures.

It's like I never left!

Tonight is Open House at school. It's starts too early to warrant a trip home and back to school again (I'd rather not burn the extra gas either). It starts too late to have anything left of my evening when it's over. Tomorrow I will come back to work and it will feel like I never left. It's all psychological of course, but it certainly makes for a long couple of days. Heck, I'm within a hair of just bedding down on the cot in the nurse's office for the night. I'm obviously just kidding, but you get what I'm driving at :-)

School Story

As a teacher working with 11 and 12 year olds, funny things happen at school all the time. Today's humorous tale comes from my time on playground duty. I was supervising some boys playing basketball when a group of girls approached me. They said there was "something gross" over in the grass. I asked what it was and they wouldn't tell me. Not wanting to leave the boys unsupervised and not wanting to leave my post, I pressed the girls for details. Is it a dead animal? No. Is it dog poop? No. C'mon girls, just tell me what it is. Well... we don't wanna say. Exasperated, I pressed them further. One girl finally said, "Okay. It's a used condo". A condo? I knew immediately what this girl was TRYING to say. This sounded a bit more important than a pile of doggy doo, so I walked over to the area in question. Sure enough, I spied exactly what these girls were referring to and precisely what I expected. The condo in question was indeed a used prophylactic. Thankfully recess was almost over and I was able to shoo the children away. Thankfully nobody asked me what it was. Then it occurred to me... they didn't need to ask. They already KNEW what it was. It also got me to thinking a bit further. If this had happened when I was in 6th grade, would I have known what I was looking at? I seriously doubt it. Sadly it's a different world now.

The whole thing did cause quite a chuckle in the teachers lounge. Some asked if anybody was in the market for a used condo. Not surprisingly, nobody was.

Enjoyable Evening

Michael and his girlfriend, Meredith came over for dinner tonight. We had a wonderful meal of beef stew and baked bread. Bless Tami's heart! She cooked a full meal while battling a stiff neck and a migraine headache. She's a real trooper! After dinner Tami rested on the couch and the rest of us played a game of Disney trivia (boys against the girls). After a spirited (and fun-filled) game, I am proud to report the boys whooped the girls :-) Ol' Walt Disney himself would have been proud! We had a lot of fun and it was nice to visit with the kids. It was a very enjoyable evening!

Release the "Quackin'"!

After nearly a year without satellite/cable television (which has been quite liberating by the way), we finally decided to resubscribe. It's a long story. Don't ask :-)

We are not people who watch a lot of television. However, the few shows we do watch are very light in nature. In other words we are not into crime shows, scary shows, vampire shows, zombie shows, American Idol or Jersey Shore etc... But a few of our favorites are Monk, Pawn Stars and Duck Dynasty. That's right folks, Duck Dynasty! It's a show about a bunch of Christian hillbillies from Louisiana who have built a huge company and have become multi-millionaires in the business of making duck calls and duck hunting accessories. It may not sound like much, but if you haven't seen it, I urge you to give it a try. It is good, clean fun and downright hilarious. I'm watching it by myself right now and laughing out loud.

School has started

School has started. Hello summer!

You may be asking what this means. It means that the weather in June and July was cool and rainy. Not exactly conducive to summer activities such as swimming or fishing. Now that school is back in session, the temperatures are sweltering in the 90's and I don't have time for those fun activities. Isn't that just the way it goes? You wait all winter to be able to swim in your pool only to be disappointed by unseasonably cool temperatures. Then when it finally gets nice and hot, there's no time to do anything. Well, that's just GRAND!

One week down!

Well, the first week of school is behind me. Only 177 more school days until summer vacation. Ha ha! Just kidding. Actually everything went pretty well. School is definitely in full swing now! Thank Goodness I have a weekend to recover :-)

This is FREAKISH!

Check out the photo above. Abby sure looks stylish, doesn't she? Well, here's the thing... it's NOT Abby. This is a model for Keds shoes. Someone sent the photo to Abby and remarked that she strongly resembled the model. Her mother and I completely agree.
The photo below shows the real Abby next to her lookalike. I'm sorry folks, but this is just plain freakish. What do you think?

Tami's new business

Through her former job at Caring Transitions, Tami has developed an interest in selling merchandise from estate sales etc... Because of this interest, she has decided to open a business of her own. To get started, she has taken some items from an estate sale from a dear friend at church. This friend has downsized from a large home to an assisted living facility. His kids (who live out of state) took most of the items that didn't sell. Whatever was leftover, Tami is storing in our basement. She is selling these items for the family and will collect a small commission from the sale of these items. Some of these things are antiques, some are retro, some are vintage and some are mid-century modern. This is an arrangement where everybody wins. The family unloads the stuff they could not move out of state. Tami gains experience and makes a few bucks for starting her business without any investment on her part. This brings me to the reason for this post. Please check out Tami's web page. You can see photos of the items for sale as well as detailed descriptions. Take a look and tell all your friends. She is trying to spread the word and gain exposure. Hopefully this will result in building a business from the ground up. Here's the address for her website.


www.tameyer123.webstore.com

Blogaholic

I must be a blogaholic. My daily blog posts are well documented in this space (I have over 9,000 page views, so SOMEBODY must be reading this drivel!). Anyway, I started a second blog today. But don't worry folks... You will not be subjected to double doses of my mindless blathering each day. I created the second blog solely for the benefit of my 6th grade students and their parents. In this age of instantaneous information on the internet, I wanted my students and their parents to have a valuable learning tool at their fingertips. This "school only" blog will have daily updates and announcements. It will also have daily postings of classroom assignments and homework. No more will students be able to lie to their parents about having no homework (when in actuality they do). No more will parents be able to claim they have no idea what is going on at school.

Picture these scenarios if you will:

Exchange between Johnny and his mom BEFORE the blog.

Mom: Johnny, do you have any homework tonight?
Johnny: No, I finished all my work at school.
Mom: Great job, Johnny! I am so proud of you!
The truth: Mr. Meyer assigned two pages of homework and Johnny lied to his mother in order to avoid his homework to play video games.

Exchange between Johnny and his mom AFTER the blog.

Mom: Johnny, do you have any homework tonight?
Johnny: No, I finished all my work at school.
Mom: Really? That's interesting. I checked Mr. Meyer's blog and it says you were assigned pages 15 and 16 for homework. Get crackin', Bud!
The truth: A few keystrokes can keep mom ahead of Johnny and gives her all the information she needs to keep him on the straight and narrow.


Exchange between a parent and teacher at a conference BEFORE the blog.

Teacher: I'm sorry, Mr. Jones, but your daughter Amy is failing Reading because she doesn't do her homework.
Mr. Jones: What? How can that be? I ask Amy daily if she has any homework and she always says no. I never know what is going on at school!
Teacher: I have left voicemails and I have sent several letters home regarding her missing assignments, but I haven't heard back from you.
Mr. Jones: I always work late. I'm too busy.

Exchange between a parent and teacher at a conference AFTER the blog.

Teacher: I'm sorry, Mr. Jones, but your daughter Amy is failing Reading because she doesn't do her homework.
Mr. Jones: What? How can that be? I ask Amy daily if she has any homework and she always no. I never know what is going on at school!
Teacher: Mr. Jones, if you check my blog each day, you will know exactly what assignments Amy has been given and you can keep up with her school work at your convenience.
Mr. Jones: That sounds great! Amy will be turning in her homework from now on!


So? What do you all think? Is this a valuable resource for parents? Is it overkill? Do I need to seek the nearest chapter of Blogaholics Anonymous? I'm willing to do whatever it takes to ensure I have a good relationship with the parents of my students and that their children have every opportunity to succeed in school.

The inevitable

The inevitable is here. School starts for teachers tomorrow and students on Wednesday (insert ominous sounding music here). Tomorrow will start with a district-wide breakfast meeting (somehow donuts and bagels don't make me feel any better better about getting up early and going back to work). This will be followed by work in my classroom and the day will end with a staff meeting for the teachers in my building. I can hardly wait! (yes, that's sarcasm!)

LET THE FUN BEGIN!

Last Day of Freedom

Tomorrow is my last day of freedom. Last day of freedom... Those are not my words, but the words of my new principal. I guess all good things must come to an end and it's time to get back to work. I would certainly appreciate your prayers this school year.

My new favorite

If you've spent any time reading my blog, you know I work really hard to stay away from controversial issues. I'm a simple guy and I like to generally keep my blog posts the same... basically good natured and light hearted. However, at the risk of stirring a little bit of controversy, I want to tell you about my new favorite blogger. His name is Matt Walsh. Matt is a news radio talk show host for WLAP out of Lexington, Kentucky. He is a politically conservative Christian who does a great job of telling it like it is. He is a straight shooter and writes in a style that is easy for a guy like me to understand. If you are a middle class American who is tired of how our country is being ruined by our current government officials (with Obama leading the charge), then Matt Walsh is the guy for you. You can find him through WLAP's website or directly through his blog:

themattwalshblog.com

One month

One month ago today my grandson, Elliott Morton was born. Happy Birthday, my boy!

Tick Tock

Tick tock, tick tock. With every passing minute summer is slipping away and the approaching school year barrels down on me like a runaway train. It's not a good feeling knowing my beloved summer is gone. In a matter of days I will begin my 24th year of teaching. The more I think about it, the more I realize that's a looooooong time! It seems like only yesterday I was a wide-eyed rookie walking in to greet my first class. Now I am the most senior teacher on my floor and rank in the top 5 in my whole building (seniority wise). That thought is truly amazing to me.

Please don't misunderstand when I say school is barreling down on me like a train. It's time to go back and all good summers must come to an end. I do still get a twinge of excitement when a new school year starts, but that excitement is usually squelched fairly quickly by disrespectful children (but that's a post for another day). This year is different because I'm dealing with the death of my dear friend Nancy. Not only am I dealing with her death, but my new classroom is the one she occupied for many, many years. There are many memories of her in that room. It's going to take some time to get over it.

At any rate... goodbye summer, hello stress!

That time of year

It's that time of year again. The time traditionally known as "Back to School". The time of year I (as a teacher) lament the end of summer vacation and face the reality of another long, grueling school year. The time of year when parents who've had their children home all summer are more than ready to send them back to another year of stellar learning opportunities. As a teacher I find myself thinking about those little youngsters that will be walking through my classroom door next Wednesday. Ready or not... here they come! (or in the parents' case, ready or not, there they go!)

Why did you hit me?

As a teacher of 11, 12 and 13 year olds, it is fascinating to watch children go from disliking members of the opposite sex to being nuts about them. Most 4th and 5th grade boys don't like girls and it's usually vice versa. By the time these same kids reach sixth grade they are so boy crazy or girl crazy it's ridiculous. It's amazing to watch how these children try to let someone know they "like" them. Teasing, hair pulling, hitting, pushing, kicking, love notes, gifts etc...

In my school interactions like these would not be unusual:

Ow! Why did you hit me?
Because Tommy likes you!

Why did you call Susie a freckle faced dog?
Because she's hot!

This is why the Calvin and Hobbes cartoon struck me as so funny. It's so true to life. Can you all relate?

Oh my goodness!

I had kind of a rough day. I had a non-mandatory staff meeting at school today. Non-mandatory in the sense that contractually we (teachers) could not be required to attend. However, the connotation was, "Be there or we will definitely note your absence as being representative of a person not committed to your teaching job". Did I go? You bet. There's no way I wanted to get off to a bad start with my new boss. Anyway, it was not a fun time. Not the way I like to spend a beautiful end-of-summer day.

Tami could tell I wasn't a happy guy when I got home. She uncorked a really good joke and I felt better immediately. It was so good I felt the need to share it.

Question: What's the difference between God and Obama?

Answer: God doesn't think he's Obama

Teehee!

Harvest

The tomato harvest continues. The grape tomatoes are still coming off the vine by the dozens. The larger tomatoes (Better Boy variety) are really starting to come off quickly as well. Here's what our window sill looks like today.

Melted Dreams

Well... you know that job at the creamy whip I mentioned last night? Never mind. Abby WILL NOT be taking the job after all. Without getting into specifics, Abby found out from some girls at school who already work there that some extremely inappropriate things have been going on. For the sake of keeping things rated G, let's just say a creepy, middle aged boss and cute teenage girls is a bad combination. We decided this is not a place we want Abby to be. There are lots of other minimum wage jobs out there.

The Ice Box

Abby is moving up in the world. She just got a new job at The Ice Box. This is the local creamy whip. She already has experience in customer service and serving food from working at the concession stand, so this should be a fairly easy transition. She will be making minimum wage which is actually a pay raise. How can this be? Her job at the concession stand paid LESS than minimum wage. In fact, she nearly doubled her pay rate. NOT BAD!

There's only one problem I can see with this. Our family loves ice cream and it will be really tempting to grab a treat when we drop her off and pick her up from work.

As expected...

As expected it was a wonderful day. A lot of people got to meet and hold little Elliott. Lots of folks congratulated Olivia for successfully graduating from UC. The highlight of the day was swimming with all the kids. I was the only adult in the pool with 4 kids under the age of six. They spent the majority of the three hours jumping like little frogs into the pool, into my arms and onto my head. By the end of the evening they were all worn out and so was I. I'm very tired, but it's a good tired.

The Grandchildren

Tomorrow is going to be a GOOOOOOOOOOOD day! We are having a pool party for the whole family. There are two occasions we are celebrating. The first is the introduction of my grandson, Mr. Elliott Morton. Many family members haven't seen him yet and we thought this would be a great way for lots of people to see him at once. The second occasion is a graduation. My niece, Olivia, is graduating from the University of Cincinnati tomorrow. It is going to be so nice to see everyone and to visit with the grandchildren.

Falling apart!

Tami and I are only in our late 40's, but it feels like we're falling apart physically. Tami recently injured her knee and has absolutely no idea how she did it. She's in a lot of pain and is having difficulty walking. She went to the doctor and he suspects a torn meniscus or ligament. She goes in for an MRI Monday to get a definitive answer. I have injured my neck and just like my wife have no idea how it happened. 9 days ago I woke up with what I thought was a stiff neck. Obviously it is more than that because my neck still hurts.

These are only the most recent issues we've experienced. We both have daily aches and pains and they only seem to be getting more numerous and more severe. I remember my parents and grandparents bemoaning the breakdown of their bodies. As a youngster I didn't have much sympathy for them. I do now. I am experiencing first hand the breakdown of my body and I feel it every day. I wake up some mornings and something new hurts that didn't hurt yesterday.

There are lots of advantages to getting old, but the trade off is a body that doesn't work the way it used to. That's okay... it's a trade I'm willing to accept. Now if you'll excuse me I need to go and take some Advil and my multi-vitamin.

They come in bunches

It's harvest time! The tomatoes have started to ripen and they are coming off the vine in bunches. I have grape tomatoes coming out the ears and the larger, Better Boy variety are really starting to pile up too.

As you know, I don't like to eat fresh, garden tomatoes, but love growing them. Tami loves eating them, but couldn't care less about growing them. It's a beautiful arrangement! People think have a special, green thumb when it comes to growing tomatoes. In reality I use the idiot proof Earth Box. I'm not secretive about this, but folks still think I'm some kind of expert. I just laugh to myself. If they only knew how easy it is :-)

Grammar Nerd?

I admit it. I am a grammar nerd. Some may even call me a grammar snob. I try not to be that way. I really, really do! Sometimes I just can't help myself. The English language can be tricky. I acknowledge that. Mistakes are going to happen. I make grammatical errors many times myself. What bugs me is when people absolutely SLAUGHTER the language. I'm not referring to the occasional mistake here, but the the complete disregard for the proper use of the English language. I'm also not talking about the language used in text messaging. (For example: Plz say bye b4 u lve, k? = Please say goodbye before you leave, okay?) That's a different matter. I use this sort of slanguage in texting all the time, but I don't let it carry over to any other aspect of my written or spoken word.

Here's what really irritates me:

Grammatical or spelling errors on the sign board of a business. Come on people! You are a full fledged, bonafide business, not a nine year old's lemonade stand!

Grammatical or spelling errors in professional publications (newspapers, magazines, news websites, the news scroll across the bottom of a television screen). These writers are professionals. They went to journalism school to learn how to write. Let me tell you folks, there is some real drivel written by these so called professional journalists.

Grammatical or spelling errors on professionally printed signs or materials. Signs in places of business, brochures etc... The Shell gas station in Lawrenceburg has professionally manufactured decals on all their gas pumps that say, "Please prepay in advance". As opposed to what? Prepaying AFTER you pump your gas? Shell is a multi-billion dollar oil corporation. Wouldn't somebody know that statement is redundant? Please prepay or please pay in advance... either statement is acceptable. No need for both. That's like saying there is a big, huge tree in my yard. Redundant! One adjective will suffice.

People who can't learn the difference between your and you're, there, their and they're or to, too and two. There are tons of others, but those are the big ones. It doesn't take much effort to get it right.

Am I coming off as some sort of elitist here? Maybe. I just think a lot of grammatical problems stem from laziness. Please do not confuse lazy language with casual language. I use my casual register all the time. You see it on this blog daily. However, I can kick my formal register into high gear any time I want to. Lazy language is when people do not put forth the effort to write or speak correctly when the situation calls for it. It doesn't take a lot of effort to speak and write well, but it does take SOME. I think people just need to be willing to work at it a little.

I guess you can tell I have high expectations in my classroom for the use of the English language. My students get so annoyed when I correct their English, but they know I will keep correcting them until they get it right. In most cases the students KNOW the correct language usage, but find it easier to speak in a casual way. I am not shy about telling them the way they speak on the playground has to be different than the way they speak in my classroom. And by the way... I have the same expectations for myself and everyone who works at my school. This is why I am mortified every time something is sent home from school with grammatical or spelling errors. That is totally unacceptable.

So, in closing, I will leave you with these nuggets of advice:

Try hard to rite and talk real good.

Don't use no double negatives.

I've told you a million times not to exaggerate.

About those incomplete sentences...

Don't repeat words that are unnecessary and don't be redundant.

Try to avoid cliches like the plague!

Try to avoid run on sentences as they are too lengthy to read easily and can be difficult to differentiate from the other sentences around it and quite frankly really mess up an otherwise good piece of writing.

Don't use embellished or ostentatious words when simpler ones will do.

These nuggets of advice are obviously jokes. The English language can be fun when given the chance. I love words and language... when used properly of course :-)

Days like these...

The Lord blesses me every day, but some days I am more in tune to what those blessings are. Today is one of those days. It's days like these that make me thankful to be alive. Clear blue, sunny skies with puffy white clouds. Cool morning air that gives way to warm, pleasant afternoon temperatures. A slight breeze rustling the trees. This is what it would be like to live in San Diego. Minus the ocean of course. I could sit on my deck for hours. Feeling the air, soaking up the sunshine, listening to the sounds of God's creation.

I am thankful today for the Lord's blessing of this beautiful weather. I am grateful for God's boundless mercy and grace that he shows me each and every day. As our Pastor says, "Grace upon grace..." I am thankful for a Savior who died for me. He paid the price for my sins and I don't deserve it. Infinite mercy and grace for a wretch like me.

Sole' Deo Gloria! (To God alone be the glory).

Wisdom -vs- Knowledge

You can ask my family... I love trivia. I know a tiny bit about many things. I don't know a lot about any one subject. When our family plays Trivial Pursuit, I am a valued player for any team. I remember the most useless things, but tend to forget (or ignore) stuff that is really important. Trust me, I don't plan it that way. It just happens. That's why I'd say I have acquired knowledge.

Tami only focuses on truly important things and either filters out or forgets stuff that is trivial or useless. I wish I could be more like that. She is wise. Her acquisition of wisdom blows my acquisition of knowledge out of the water.

Think about a time when you want to ask for life advice from an older person. Do you seek a knowledgable person or a wise person?. You'd probably say wise every time. I know I would. I've met some very knowledgable people in my life who don't have an ounce of wisdom.

Which would you rather have? Knowledge or wisdom?

Antiques

Tami has decided to start dabbling in the sale of antiques, vintage and retro furniture and various household items. We currently have a basement full of stuff that she is going to sell for a friend from church. This friend moved out of a large house full of stuff and into an assisted living facility. She has many nice things for sale that she will be photographing and posting online in the very near future. If you think you might be interested in some of these items, just let me know and I will arrange an opportunity for you to see them. I could also send some descriptions via e-mail. If you're not interested, that's fine too. We'd appreciate your prayers in successfully selling these items for our friend.

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to my wonderful, smart and beautiful wife! I won't tell you how old she is, but I'll give you a hint. The second digit of her age is a 9 and when she tells people how old she is, she will end with the words, "and holding".

Happy Birthday, Honey!

2013- The summer that wasn't

As promised, today's post will not be a feel good story. I'm not trying to be a bummer, but the feelings I am having right now are real and this blog has always been a reflection of what's on my mind.

I'll put it bluntly. This summer has pretty much stunk! It really doesn't even feel like I've had a summer at all. Before it ever got started (the last day of school), my sister-in-law passed away. We had to cancel our vacation and fly unexpectedly to Phoenix. Please do not think I am bitter about my vacation. I'm not. We needed to be in Phoenix and it was the right thing to do. While in Phoenix, I received word that my dearest friend from school passed away unexpectedly. A second punch to the gut in as many days. I'm still reeling and it will really hit home once I go back to school. Once we returned from Phoenix, it was time to start my summer job. As summer jobs go, it's a good one. But it's still a JOB. Summer job=less free time. Once again, I'm not whining about having less free time, but there were so many things I wanted to accomplish that I never got to. The kicker has been the weather. We have had an unusually cool and rainy summer. These are not conditions conducive to lounging on the deck and swimming in the pool. Now there are less than three weeks until school starts. There is a tremendous amount of work to do in my classroom before then and I will spend most of the rest of the summer preparing for the upcoming school year.

Not exactly the picture of a summer of sun and fun, eh? That's why I've branded this the summer that wasn't.

Sorry for the downer, folks. Back to the fun stuff tomorrow!