Under the mat

Remember when people used to keep a spare key under the doormat? Yeah, like burglars were too dumb to look under there... duh! Now in the age of online shopping, UPS, FedEx, and Amazon are shipping merchandise to homes in incredible numbers. Many deliveries are made when people are at work and are not home to accept the packages. The delivery folks are way too busy to put any effort into disguising the goods on your front porch. I have no idea if the following photos are real or not. Some are likely staged, but it does make you think. How easy would it be for a criminal to drive through a neighborhood and pilfer free goods?

AC

I make this statement all the time and I am completely serious when I say it. Air conditioning is one of the greatest inventions known to humankind. I'm not kidding. After the heat we've experienced this summer, I have grown to appreciate air conditioning more and more. All hail Willis Carrier the inventor of modern day air conditioning. Mr. Carrier... thank you from the bottom of my heart. I salute you, Sir!

Red Skelton

Red Skelton was one of the funniest, most creative comedians of all time. Below are some of his quips on the topic of marriage. His views were genius. Of course, put a man and woman in a house together for many years and the jokes practically write themselves.                                                    

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere.....
but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our
anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"
she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" .. So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was; she told me, "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late
for the garbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!"

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
I said "Dust!"

14. "All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner".

Can't you just hear him say all of these?
I love it... this is the good old days! When humor didn't have to start with a four-letter word... Just clean, and simple fun.

I don't know if Red Skelton wrote this one or not. He had a lot of imitators throughout the years. It certainly is reminiscent of his style though.

Tick Tock Part 2

I can feel it. School is creeping in. The hours and minutes of summer are whittling away. The end of summer feels like a slow, painful death. Yesterday I posted a dream vacation spot. Today I am posting more of a thought or idea rather than a specific location. Oh if only...

Tick Tock

Tick Tock Tick Tock...

As the clock winds down on summer vacation, I can't help but dream of summers to come. Ultimately I can't help but dream of my retirement in nine short years. God willing I can retire in the year 2025 with 35 years of teaching under my belt. The aforementioned dream looks a little something like this...

English is CRAZY!

Let's face it. English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant and no ham in hamburger.
There is neither pine nor apple in pineapple.
English Muffins weren't invented in England.
French fries did not originate in France.
Quicksand works rather slowly.
Boxing rings are square.
Guinea pigs are not from Guinea and are definitely not pigs.
Why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?
Why is it we can make amends, but not just one amend?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
Why do people recite at a play, but play at a recital?
We ship by truck, but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway, but drive on a parkway.
We live in apartments that are all connected.
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same thing?
How can a wise man and a wise guy be opposites?
How can your house burn up while it is also burning down?
Why do we fill out a form by filling it in?
Our alarm goes off when it actually goes on.

No wonder our language is so difficult to learn!

Gettin' Fancy!

Now I'm really getting fancy. I have started my own YouTube channel. The channel is called "Goppa Meyer" and I created it for the sole purpose of posting videos to the blog. The grandkids came over to swim again today and this video is just a test to make sure I am doing everything right. The kids had a good time. It was blistering hot and I am thankful the kids could visit grandma and me while splashing around a bit.

***DISCLAIMER***
I am not responsible for suggested videos that pop up after my video is finished. These are NOT videos I have watched and I have no control over what videos YouTube puts up there. Please understand this has always been a family friendly blog and it always will be. I would never want anything offensive or objectionable to appear on this blog.

New to the blog

I am always striving to make this blog better and in turn keep you (my readers) interested. I am well aware the internet is a limitless source of entertainment and you can choose to visit my blog (or not) on a daily basis. I have added a "Featured Post" section to the right hand column of the blog. This will keep a post I view as important, prominently displayed. Keeping a post in the "Featured Post" section prevents it from slipping down the list and becoming buried in the archives. The post in that section today is photos of my grandkids swimming in our pool. It is there for two reasons. First to test the new "Featured Post" section. Second because they are adorable.

I hope you like the new feature. I know I do.

Swim!

There are few things I enjoy more in the summer than having the grandkids over to swim in our pool. Yesterday was scorching hot and the kids came down to cool off. Sveta and Elliott are little water rats. They are right at home in the water. Asher is already well on his way to following in his siblings' footsteps. Yes, he LOVES the water (See the first photo). Swimming in the hot sun all day also has a way of wearing the kids out (as evidenced in the second photo). They will be down for a repeat performance tomorrow. Can't wait!

Stolen Mail Box

This kid can steal my mailbox any time he wants. Mine cost $29.95 and is rusting.

In reality his parents probably found out about the prank and forced him to do this. Good parenting I'd say.

I found it!

I found it! I found it! My dream fridge pictured below...

Here's your sign

Here's the thing about this sign. There wouldn't be a need to post it if it wasn't a problem. So..... people punching llamas is a problem? Apparently so.

25

Today is our 25th wedding anniversary. 25 years ago I married my beautiful bride. 25 years ago my life changed forever. 25 years ago a woman more wonderful than I could have ever dreamed vowed to spend the rest of her life with me. 25 years ago I embarked on a journey that I never believed could have taken me down this path.

25 years later Tami and I have three adult children and three gorgeous (and energetic) grandchildren. 25 years later we live in a beautiful home with everything we could ever need. For 25 years God has blessed our marriage and I truly would not trade it for anything. Lord willing I am looking forward to the next 25 years.

Last night our children and grandchildren took us out to dinner to celebrate this glorious occasion. It was the perfect way to commemorate this milestone.

Bear in mind all marriages have their peaks and valleys. Tami and I have had our share of both. Last night we were asked what the key to a long, happy marriage was. I think my wife put it best. She said, "Always be quick to forgive and realize you won't always get your way". All I can say to that is, "AMEN!"

Answer

My good friend, Doug, asked me a question about one of the photos from the Reds game.

Q: Did security ask me to take my feet off the dugout?
A: I didn't give them a chance. My feet went up for a quick photo and then I took them back down. I confess the photo was staged.

He also thought this photo looked like Dusty Baker. Funny he should mention that. I thought the exact same thing. This is actually third base coach, Billy Hatcher. I do think he favors Dusty though.

One note about Billy Hatcher. He threw a ball to kids in the stands between every inning. Joey Votto on the other hand won't even acknowledge the existence of anybody around him. I'll call Joey aloof only because I am trying to be nice. There are better adjectives, but I will refrain from using them on this blog. By my observations, Billy Hatcher is a good guy. Joey Votto has some work to do.

What a night!

Well color me pleasantly surprised! Everything I thought would be wrong with last night's ball game didn't happen. Not only did it not rain, but it turned out to be a clear, gorgeous evening with a full moon rising in right center field. The Reds won easily and even hit three home runs in one inning. To add to the surprises, my friend that got the tickets escorted me to my seat in the front row directly behind the Reds dugout. I sat with my feet propped on the dugout while I enjoyed the view and a great game. The Reds players were no more than 15 feet from me every time they entered or exited the dugout. To cap off the surprises, the barbershop quartet I used to sing with sang the national anthem. Strange, huh? The whole night was a very cool experience. One I will not forget for a very long time.

Rain

You all know the song. Sing along with me... Rain Rain go away, come again another another day. Little Mickey wants to play...

Ok. Why the silliness about rain? Because I am going to the Reds game tonight and the forecast is for rain and thunderstorms (some of which may be severe). No big deal, right? Baseball games get rained out all the time, right? That's correct no big deal. Baseball games experience rain delays all the time, right? That's correct also. I'm sitting in my chair as I type this and thunder is rumbling outside and the rain is pouring down. I am laughing quietly to myself because I have always joked that every time I go to a Reds game, it rains. I went to only one game last year and I sat through a two hour rain delay. I need more than two hands to count the number of times I've gone to a Reds game and it has rained... and I usually only go to one (maybe two) games a year. Obviously it is an exaggeration to say it rains EVERY TIME I go to the ballpark. However, it does seem to be a very strange coincidence.

On a brighter note... the Reds stink this year. They are playing the Atlanta Braves (a team that stinks worse than the Reds). It is a rainy Monday night. There will likely be very few people in the stands and the chances of moving down to seats close to the field are very good. The opportunity to snag a foul ball will be greatly increased due to the relatively low number of people in the ballpark tonight as well. Heck, I love baseball and even if it rains, it is always fun to take a field trip to Great American Ballpark. I am likely to get wet. I am likely to see a stinker of a game. But hey, it's baseball and that's all I care about!

A good report

Abby reports a successful trip to Mexico. The work projects and Vacation Bible School programs went very well. Abby was the leader of one of the VBS programs and people from our church have told us she did a wonderful job. I have no doubt about that. Abby also reports that her conversational Spanish is really coming along as well. We got to witness this first hand last night. After picking up Abby at the airport, we went out for (what else?) Mexican food. I watched and listened in amazement as she carried on a full fledged conversation (IN SPANISH!) with the Mexican employees of the restaurant. I am quite proud of all that Abby is doing with the Mexican people and with her progress in becoming bilingual. It is so good to have her home. A large part of her wishes she was still in Mexico, but I'm still happy to have her back.

Home Safely!

Abby arrived home safely from Mexico last night. I am currently getting ready to walk out the door for church, but will post an update later today.

Three!

Elliott was born on his mommy's birthday. Today Elliott turns 3 and his Momma turns 32. My eldest daughter is 32???? Boy, do I feel OLD!

Happy Birthday to wild man, Elliott, and his wonderful mom.

We will be attending the big birthday bash this afternoon and then Abby returns from Mexico this evening. It's going to be a big day for the Meyer family.

Yes

The answer is yes. Yes, I would live here. For reasons that most people wouldn't understand, I would live here. I would obviously want Tami by my side. I don't want to be a hermit... I just enjoy quiet and solitude.

Pokemon Go

The Pokemon craze came into childhood vogue long after I had become an adult. However, my kids liked Pokemon, collected the cards, and played the video games. I never understood the appeal myself. For those who don't know, Pokemon is short for Pocket Monsters. It involves an imaginary world and the goal is to capture all the Pokemon. Their catchphrase is, "Gotta catch 'em all!"

In the last ten years or so, the fad began to fade into virtual obscurity. Then Nintendo (the creators of Pokemon) came out with Pokemon Go. This is a game where Pokemon creatures "appear" in the real world. You can only see them using a Smart Phone and they are only imaginary. You can't REALLY see them. The object is to get people to get up and "GO" (i.e. walk around everywhere) looking for various Pokemon. This silly game has captured the attention of the world and it is causing problems everywhere. People are trespassing onto private property looking for Pokemon. People are putting themselves in dangerous situations looking for Pokemon (I have heard people are walking into trees and into traffic while their noses are buried in their phones). People are looking for Pokemon while driving (DISTRACTED and DANGEROUS). People are neglecting their work in order to play this game. And yes, some people are using it correctly and are having a good time with it. I am astounded at how this game has exploded on to the scene and seemingly taken over the world. I, for one, will not be chasing imaginary monsters with my phone.

Manners

I know it's only a handwritten sign, but it certainly does say a lot...

Unfortunately, nowadays manners are the exception rather than the rule.

One at a time

When it comes to eating, people have some very strange habits and methods. Some people don't like their foods touching (corn cannot come into contact with mashed potatoes etc...). Some people refuse to eat something if it's not piping hot. Some people will not eat things simply because of texture, color, or smell. None of those things describe me. My particular food quirk is that I only eat one thing at a time. For example, if the meal consists of roast beef, green beans, biscuits, and salad, I will eat all of the roast beef first, then all the green beans, then a biscuit, finally finish with the salad. My family has ridiculed me for years about this. I have no idea how or why I started doing this, but I know I've done it for as long as I can remember. I do know I have a very logical reason for eating this way. Hear me out before you laugh at me.

Here's the reasoning... I always eat my favorite part of the meal first. Then my next favorite and my least favorite thing last. That way if I get full, the food left on my plate is my least favorite and I don't miss out on something I really like. I know this sounds strange, but I'm willing to bet there are other people who do the same thing.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go eat my steak, and then my baked potato, and finally my salad.

Happy Birthday!

July 11, 1997. It was 19 years ago today that Abby was born. Abby is the baby of the family and she is an adult. It's such a strange feeling when all of your kids are grown up. There are no longer little people that rely on you every day. I guess that's why God gave us grandchildren.

Happy birthday today to my sweet little Sugar Lump. I know you are in Mexico serving the Lord, and you probably won't be reading this today. But I just want you to know I am thinking of you and I love you very much.

I remember the day Abby was born and how I almost missed her birth because of a roast beef sandwich. Tami was in labor and the doctor said it would be quite a while before the baby would arrive. I went to the hospital cafeteria to grab a sandwich. I was on my way back to the maternity ward Sandwich in hand) when my oldest daughter came running down the hall. She grabbed my sandwich and yelled one word. "GO!"I knew what she meant. I sprinted to the delivery room and saw Abby's birth with only a couple of minutes to spare. I can't imagine the guilt I would have felt for the rest of my life if I had missed my daughter's birth because of a sandwich. Thankfully, 19 years later, I am not living with that guilt.

Abby, I was there 19 years ago, I am here for you now, and I always will be. You are now, and forever will be my precious (and ever chatty) Sugar Lump.

Happy Birthday!

Safely arrived!

Sorry there was no post yesterday. I was very busy. I organized and was in charge of a church work day. This is one of my duties as a Deacon. Many members of our church volunteered to spruce up the church and make minor repairs. We are very blessed to have a wonderful facility and the people of our church keep it in tip-top shape.

On another note, we received word that the team from our church arrived safely in Mexico. I am so thankful that God has kept the team safe during the first leg of their trip. I now pray for their continued safety and for God's Word to go forth to the people of Vera Cruz, Mexico.

Finally, tomorrow is the first day of my "Staycation". Blog posts will continue however. Dedicated bloggers never take much time away from their blogs.