Depression?

Today the calendar turns to September. This change of the calendar is a turning point in my year and stirs uneasy feelings in me. This is going to sound strange to a lot of you (especially those who love the cool crispness of fall). Others may think I'm just being a whiner. However, these feelings I have are real and it happens every year! The bottom line? The fall (autumn) depresses me.

It actually begins on August 31st. The anniversary of my dad's death. Some very important people in my life have died in the fall.

The fall signifies the end of everything I enjoy. Summer. Fishing. Swimming. Time off. Time with my family. Vacation. Sun. Long days. Picnics. Cookouts. Time on the deck. Gardening. Baseball. Yard Work. The fall begins things in my life that are not as enjoyable. Back to school. Back to work. Cooler temperatures. Shorter days. Everything is dying. Raking leaves (the only kind of yard work I don't like). The prelude to winter.

The fall brings one of the most dreaded days of the whole year... Halloween. If you'd like an explanation of this go back into the archives of this blog from last October and find a post called Autumn Blues. I'm sure I will also do another post about this topic next month.

I really can't accurately put into words these feelings I have. All I know is this time of year brings feelings of dread. Feelings of sadness. Feelings of utter depression.

I know there are many more important things that I should be worrying about. In the grand scheme of life, the change of seasons shouldn't be high on my list of things that trouble me. But my feelings are my feelings and I can't change them.

I am still counting my blessings. The Lord's mercy and grace abound beyond all measure. I have a wonderful wife. A wonderful family. A great house. We all have our health. We are are financially secure. But all of this doesn't change my disdain for the end of summer and the beginning of fall. How many more days until summer?