How to be a gentleman- Part 4

Be a good listener. Women need to vent. It's the way they're wired. They've been home with the kids all day or working at the office all day and sometimes they just need their husbands to listen. Men are wired to be problem solvers and the moment women begin to vent they want to spring to action and fix the problem(s). Sometimes women need to discuss their feelings. Let's face it guys... we're not exactly eager to open up and share our feelings. If women are open books, then men are hermetically sealed strong boxes. Those two things mix like oil and water. Sometimes guys have to suck it up and just listen. Don't interrupt. Don't question. Don't invalidate her feelings or ask, "Oh geez... what is it THIS time?". Just flippin' listen! Get off the phone. Get off the internet. Turn off the TV. Put down the sports page and just listen. Easy to say, but tough to do. Work at it fellas. She will appreciate it.

Don't be crude or rude. She's a lady and deserves to be treated like one. Reserve your potty humor for the guys' night out. You may know your woman is tough as nails, but underneath she is a delicate flower. Treat her with a gentle respect. She doesn't want to hear you burp or pass gas. Everybody does it. Just try to suppress it or leave her presence if you can. Your buddies may think it's funny when you let one rip, but I assure you a lady is not even remotely amused.

Don't talk bad about her... to anyone! You are her knight in shining armor. You are her protector and sometimes you may be the only one on her side. Don't make her feel like you're against her too. If you have a complaint or issue with her... take it to her and talk it out. If you are with your buddies and you say, "Dudes, my wife is such a nag! I wish she'd just get off my back!"... you better have a heart to heart with her. Complaining to your buddies will get you nowhere. And never, ever tolerate somebody else badmouthing your wife. Never nod in agreement or affirm their words. Stand up for her. She's YOUR lady. Let people know if they have something bad to say about her, they have to go through you first.

Never forget her birthday or your anniversary. She may tell you it's just another day, but I assure you it is not. Honestly, Tami has never been big into celebrating her birthday or our anniversary. But by no means does that mean I should let those days go by unmentioned. No siree! I always remember and I always wish her a happy birthday or happy anniversary. Fortunately for me these two events are less than two weeks apart. I almost get a two for one deal. Pretty easy to remember.

How to be a gentleman- Part 3

And the list continues…

Don’t lie to her. Ever! If she asks for your opinion on a new dish she cooked, be honest. If you tell her everything she makes is the best thing you’ve ever tasted, your opinion is worthless. She wants an honest opinion so she can improve something if it’s not to your liking. Lying in any situation will cause nothing but trouble. It may delay the inevitable problems you tried to cover up, but trust me fellas, she WILL find out the truth. I don’t know how women do it, but they always KNOW. Avoid the complications and tell the truth. Of course there are exceptions to these rules. For example, one time when putting away laundry, I accidentally put a pair of Abby’s underwear in Tami’s drawer. Some time later Tami held them up and asked me if it looked like her mom sized rear end would fit in Abby’s teen sized underwear. My answer? YES! Yes, it does. Sometimes telling the truth could get a guy killed!

Use your manners. ALWAYS! Even after nearly 25 years of marriage I still say please and thank you. I say, “Excuse me” if I burp. Just because you have been married for a long time doesn’t mean you can be a rude, inconsiderate lout. Be polite to everyone, but especially to women. Your behavior in the high school locker room is not the same behavior expected around a lady. Use. Your. Manners!

Say, “I love you”. It’s not enough that she already knows you love her. Tell her! Every day! Say it! Often! I always say I love you when hanging up from a phone call with her. I always say I love you when leaving to go anywhere. And I just say it at random times when she’s not expecting it. You can’t overdo it on this one. Remind her of all the reasons you fell in love with her and the reasons you love her even more today.

Call 911

Calling 911 is no joke. Okay, sometimes it is. Emergencies are no laughing matter, but sometimes people just can't help themselves. Human beings will never cease to amaze me.

How to be a gentleman- Part 2

The series of posts continues...

Say nice things to her. Don't be a flatterer. That's disingenuous. Compliment her looks. Compliment her cooking. Thank her for all the thankless jobs a mother and housewife does. Just use kind words. It may seem like a small deal to you, but it's a big deal to her.

Comfort her when she cries. Admit it guys. You'd rather she take a frying pan upside your head than to see her cry (especially if YOU are the source of those tears). Your woman is going to cry. Comfort her. Give her a shoulder to cry on and offer supportive words to ease the pain. Don't downplay the reason she is crying. Just because you don't think something is worth shedding tears over, that doesn't mean she feels the same way. She's different than you. Be understanding.

Never compare her to another woman. "You should wear your hair like so and so". "You should cook like Jane Doe". "I wish you'd dress nice like blankety blank". Be satisfied with who she is and with what you have. Lest she compare you to other men (and there's no way we guys want THAT). She knows you're a flawed man, but you're HER flawed man.

Don't make promises you can't keep. If you tell her you will be home from work at 5:00, by golly be home by 5:00 (barring traffic jams etc...). If you said you'd fix the exhaust fan in the bathroom... fix it. Don't let her sit around for weeks or months wondering if you forgot about it or just don't care if it ever gets fixed. Be true to your word. She needs to be able to count on what you say. She should never have to guess if you REALLY mean what you say.

Be chivalrous. Open the door for her even if she doesn't expect it from you. Protect her from everyone and everything. She needs to know you've got her back. If you hear a bump in the night, get up and investigate. Even if you are 99% sure there's nothing to worry about, get out of bed and check it out. This lets her know you put her safety (and the children's safety) first. She will rest better knowing all is well and there's nothing lurking in the dark.

That's enough for today. That gives you plenty to chew on and digest. More later.

How to be a gentleman- Part 1

As promised, I am going to start my series of posts on "How to be a gentleman". As I stated before, some of these are my own ideas and others I have shamelessly lifted from internet sources (please don't call the plagiarism police). The topics covered will vary. Some will be faith based. Some will be honor/chivalry based. Some will focus on love and romance. Others may be viewed more as marital tips rather than advice on how to be a gentleman. I hope you find these helpful as well as entertaining. Each post will only contain a handful of tips in order to avoid monotony.

***DISCLAIMER***
Many of these tips can be filed under "Do as I say, not as I do". Some of these things I do very well, while others need tremendous improvement on my part.

How to be a gentleman- Part 1

Be the spiritual leader of the home. There is no higher calling for a husband or father, than to make Christ the center of your home. You are the king of the castle... act like it.

Pray at mealtime. Don't just do this at home, but at restaurants as well. It may feel strange at first, but you'll get used to it. The Lord has provided food for you and your family. Be thankful and acknowledge God's provision.

Take your family to Church. As the spiritual leader, it is your responsibility to see that this happens. Full disclosure- Sometimes I feel like sleeping in on Sundays, but I never regret going to church. Make it a habit.

Stay faithful. There is nothing worse than a cheating husband. Only have eyes for your wife. Do not flirt with other women. Even if you think it is only innocent, good, clean fun. There is no such thing. Flirt with your wife even after you're married. She may not say so, but she still likes it when you flirt with her.

Admit when you're wrong. Don't be afraid to say, "I'm sorry". This is a biggie fellas. You can sometimes be an insensitive lout. Apologize and admit wrongdoing. It goes a long way!

Many more tips later. Trust me. They won't all be this heavy. I needed to cover some of the really serious stuff first. Priorities, you know.

Chivalry is NOT dead

I’m not sure who said it, but I have always been fond of the quote, “The greatest thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother”. That may not be the exact quote, but you get the gist of the message. I have made a lot of mistakes as a father and I have no shortage of regrets. However, I know I’ve done some things right too. For one, I love the mother of my children with every ounce of my soul. I try very hard every day to show my children that I love their mother. I have also worked to instill in my children (especially Michael) a complete respect for women. I believe I have been successful in this endeavor. Maybe not perfectly, but Michael has seen how I treat the women in my life (my wife, my daughters, my mother, my sister etc…). I believe that has rubbed off on him and I can only pray he applies it in his own life.

Many believe chivalry is dead. I’m here to tell you it’s not. If you haven’t seen chivalrous behavior lately, maybe you’re hanging out in the wrong places or are watching the wrong TV shows. Chivalry is NOT dead. It is alive and well. Show up at my church on any given Sunday and you will find a whole building full of chivalrous, honorable men. These are God-fearing, family men who are true gentlemen.

Hmmm… “Gentleman”. There’s a word that seems to be getting lost in our culture. Gentleman. Break the word down and you get gentle man. A gentleman does not deal with women harshly. A gentleman loves, honors and respects women. A gentleman appreciates the qualities of the weaker, fairer sex.

To that end, I am going to start a series of posts on this blog. The series will be in many parts, but will not necessarily happen every day. The series will focus on what a real man does. It will focus on what it means to be a gentleman and what chivalry really looks like. Not all of these ideas will be my own. Some will be my thoughts, others will be thoughts of successful men who have gone before me. Watch for this in coming days and feel free to share it with any of the men in your life (young and old). No man is ever finished being a gentleman. A real man is always striving to be better. A real man is always working to be a better husband, a better father, and a better person all the way around. The fact is we are all sinners and we will never fully succeed, but that doesn’t mean we should stop trying.

My Life Changed Forever

February 24, 1989. It was on this date 27 years ago that my life changed forever. I didn't know it at the time, but that night would shape the course of the rest of my life. February 24th, 1989 was the date of my first date with Tami. 27 years and almost 25 years of marriage later, I remember that night as if it happened last week. I remember the nervous feelings of going out with this wonderful, beautiful woman for the first time. I remember the euphoria I felt after the date had gone well. I remember the excitement of a possible second date. I don't think I knew after our first date that I was going to marry and grow old with this woman, but I do remember how good I felt when I was with her and how much I hated it when I was away from her. It wasn't necessarily love at first sight, but looking back, I can easily see how I fell in love with her. It's hard to believe it's been 27 years since that night. But what a 27 years it has been!

The Common Core

Because I'm a teacher, people ask me all the time about The Common Core. What is it? What's it all about? Why is it so controversial? Am I for it or against it? Well, for starters, The Common Core is a national education initiative to standardize what students in all 50 states are taught. On the surface, that sounds like a good idea. The problem is WHAT is being taught and HOW it is being taught. In some cases the material is propaganda. In other cases the method of teaching is just plain silly. Look at the math problem below. This is an example of The Common Core. If you are shaking your head... I don't blame you. When we went to school, 8+5=13. Sally has 8 apples and Joe has 5 apples. How many apples do they have all together? 13. 8+5=13. Where in the world and why in the world do we want these kids to say 8+5=10. It doesn't. It never will. Any student who enters the work force and tells his boss that he took in $8 and then $5 for a total of $10, that person won't be working for very long. He or she would be fired. We need to get back to basics and The Common Core is NOT the way to do it. Many kids today cannot do math to save their lives. Let's face it. Math is hard enough when 8+5=13. When 8+5=10... forget about it!

Cincinnati Weather

It's been said if you don't like the weather in Cincinnati, stick around for a few hours... It'll change.

After temps near 70 degrees on Saturday, we're looking at a chance of snow on Thursday. Cincinnati weather is CRAZY!

Big Day!

Yesterday we celebrated Sveta's 8th birthday! Among her many, many presents was this Cleopatra dress-up costume. Elliott enjoyed the warm weather by driving around on his John Deere tractor and grandma just soaked in every aspect of the day which included a lot of baby-holding time.

Directions

Sir, could you give me directions to the nearest gas station?

Sure. Just go to the next intersection and turn left.

Thanks... I think.

Pray TM

You've heard of the ATM. But what about the Pray TM?

"Dear God, please let there be money in my checking account. Amen!"

Ya think?

I love stuff like this...

Road may be flooded. Ya think?

My new throne

Check out my new throne. No, we did NOT get a new toilet! My wonderful and thoughtful wife bought me a new recliner and it was delivered today. I am every bit as attached to my easy chair as Archie Bunker was to his. The truth is, most nights I fall asleep in my chair and usually sleep about half the night in it. I can't wait to try it out (it was delivered while I was at work). Tami sent me the photo because I hadn't seen it yet and because she wanted to give me something to look forward to.

I am the king of my castle and this is my new throne:

8 is great!

Happy 8th birthday to the best granddaughter any Goppa could ever ask for! Happy Birthday, Sveta! I love you so much! I can't wait for your birthday party on Saturday! I hope we have cake!

Politics today

Unfortunately this is the state of politics today. Everybody wants to feel good and wonders what the government can do for them. Nobody wants to face the hard facts.

Cookies

It's that time of year again! No, not tax season... Girl Scout cookies! It's time for these girls to sell their crack, uh I mean cookies again. Who among us doesn't have their favorite type of Girl Scout cookie? And who among us isn't totally addicted to them? Samoas anyone? I swear these things must be laced with some highly addictive drug! Who can resist a cute little girl selling some of the most delicious cookies on the planet?

Girl Scout: Sir, would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?

Me: Do you have Samoas?

Girl Scout: Yes.

Me: Do you have Thin Mints?

Girl Scout: Of course! They're our best seller!

Me: I'll take 500 boxes.

No question!

How is this even a question? I would do this in a heartbeat! It would be sooooooo easy! Too bad it's only hypothetical.

Cheese Fest

So who would have known there were so MANY different kinds of cheese? Cheese Fest was a lot of fun, but man was it packed! I guess there are tons of cheese lovers out there. Here's a photo of my Valentine and me at Jungle Jim's Cheese Fest. Special thanks to Kacie Harrison for making everything completely free. What a blast!

Valentine Dinner

Last night our small group from church had its monthly meeting. There are 5 couples in the group and we take turns hosting the meeting each month. We always share a meal, have a Bible study lesson and then pray. Last night night our good friends, John and Darla were our gracious hosts. Because it was Valentines Day, they prepared a very fancy candlelight dinner. Tami wasn't feeling well and was unable to attend. What makes this dinner all the more incredible is the fact that Darla is not in good health. In fact, she was recently so sick that her name was placed on the list for a heart transplant. However, through God's grace, even more recently her health improved and she was removed from the transplant list.

This first photo is my surrogate date. Cute and all, but no substitute for my REAL Valentine.

Notice the beautiful table setting and the attention to detail.

I love my kids

I love my kids with every fiber of my being. I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. However, I must confess I also enjoy going on dates with my wife when my kids aren't around. I've opined about the Empty Nest on this blog before. Some people say they struggle with the idea of life without their kids. As much as I love my kids, I look forward to the day when they move out and have lives of their own. I don't want that to sound selfish (and it's not). I want my kids to lead happy, healthy, productive adult lives. As a result I look forward to the new phase of my life that will result. The Empty Nest is still several years away, and I'm not trying to rush my kids out the door, but it's still fun to think about what my married life will be like when it happens.

Valentines Day

Tami and I do not celebrate Valentines Day. We never have and we never will. That doesn't mean we don't do romantic things. We certainly do. We go on dates all the time and take a night away as often as possible. This Sunday is Valentines Day and we are going to Cheese Fest at Jungle Jim's. We're not going because it's Valentines Day. We're going because a former student of mine is an employee at Jungle Jim's and offered us free tickets as well as drink bracelets for free wine and beer. So we are going on really nice date that just HAPPENS to fall on February 14th. We've never been to Cheese Fest and we are quite excited to see what it's all about. Apparently there are hundreds of wines and cheeses to be sampled and other fun activities too. Looking forward to a really nice weekend with my wife!

I didn't do it!

The following cartoon is about parents, children, and politicians, but it could equally apply to 4th graders in my classroom. I have been teaching for 26 years and I will never cease to be amazed at the behavior of some kids or the lengths they will go to in order to avoid consequences.

It is a very common occurrence in my classroom for me to see and/or hear a student do something and have them deny it directly to my face. During times that students are expected to be quiet, they will oftentimes talk. Talking in and of itself is not a big deal, but in a classroom where learning can be disrupted, it IS a big deal.

Here is a sample scenario. There is no embellishment or artistic license used here. It will flabbergast you, but I swear it’s the truth.

During a quiet time I see and hear Johnny talking with my own eyes and ears. No doubt. 100% sure and certain.

Me: Johnny, please stop talking.

Johnny: I wasn’t talking.

Me: Johnny, I hear you talking. Please stop. Others are trying to learn.

Johnny: It wasn’t me. I was not talking.

Me: Yes you were. I saw your lips moving and heard your voice.

Johnny: (speaking louder) It wasn’t ME! I was being quiet!

Me: Give me a break! I saw and heard you. Just say you’re sorry and move on!

Johnny: I’m not sorry because I wasn’t talking!

Me: How can you sit there and lie to my face? I saw and heard you!

Johnny: No you didn’t…

Well, you get the picture. This is just one scenario of hundreds that drive me crazy on a daily basis. Kids! Whaddya gonna do?

A good night's rest

Tami and I have ordered a new mattress. It will be delivered in 10-14 days. I'm sure you've heard of Presidents Day Mattress Sales. Well, we were in desperate need and decided to take advantage of one of these sales. I'm embarrassed to tell you our current mattress is 24 years old. Yep, it's the same one we bought when we got married in 1991. I know. I know. 24 years is at least three times longer than the recommended life expectancy of a mattress, but hey, we always spent our money on other things. However, Tami has been having a lot of difficulty sleeping lately and there is no doubt the old, worn out mattress is the culprit. I am eager to get the new mattress so Tami can finally get a good night's rest. I must admit I'm pretty happy to be getting a new mattress too.

I'm #4 by the way...

Four years ago

The date was February 8th, 2012. It was 4 years ago last night that our sweet Sveta landed at JFK airport and became an American citizen. More importantly she became a member of our family forever. The Lord has blessed us with four years of Sveta and I pray for many more. We all love our little Russian grandchild so much! Happy anniversary, Sveta!

February 8th, 2012

Recent Photo+Elliott

And even more recently---

My how time flies!

S*N*O*W*

I am fortunate enough to have an unexpected day off work today. I will have to shovel my driveway and will have to assist with snow removal at church. I plan on using the day to catch up on some work that needs to get done. Translation= I will not be sitting around relaxing the whole day. But that's okay.

By the way, you know what snow is, right?

Stuff
No
One
Wants

Tough Day

It was a tough day at school. For reasons that are important only to me and would bore you, it was a day I'd rather forget. I'm hoping when I arrive in my classroom tomorrow I will remember this quote.

Team #2

My second favorite team did it! The Denver Broncos won the Super Bowl tonight! Nice to see Peyton Manning go out on top.

Cute!

It's been a very busy weekend. We are doing some remodeling work in our kitchen (not a complete remodel, just some paint on the cabinets and some new crown moulding). I haven't had much time to post as my honey-do list was extensive the last few days. So for now, I will just post a cute picture of my daughter and her three beautiful children.

Coffee and music

Tami and I went on a fun date last night.

We have a good friend,Toby Huff, who is a very talented musician. He used to go to church with us and was the teacher of our small group for a while. About once a month Toby plays at a coffee shop in Harrison, Ohio. It's just Toby, his guitar and some old time country music.

We met some friends at "The Coffee Peddler" where we enjoyed a hot cup of joe and some really good music. It was the first time we'd ever heard him play out and I must admit he was waaaaaaaay better than I thought he'd be. I knew he could play the guitar and I knew he could sing... but I didn't know he was THAT good.

It was a very enjoyable time on a winter night. An evening of fun and entertainment for the price of a (somewhat pricey) cup of coffee.

Just add pepper

So this happened...

Elliott was served pancakes and his mom turned her back for ten seconds. Yes, folks, that's pepper. I guess Elliott wanted to spice things up a bit. I'm sure his mommy wasn't laughing, but his grandma and Goppa sure got a kick out of it.

Here's a photo of Asher... just because.

I'm not ignoring Sveta, but I don't have any recent photos of her. She has a birthday in 13 days. I'm sure I'll get some good pictures then.

49 and holding

I am not in the habit of advertising my birthday. I don’t like being the center of attention and I am not fond of the idea of being another year older either. Yes, today is my 49th birthday and I’m only mentioning it because I received one the best birthday gifts a guy could ever get.

My day began just like any other. I got up early, got ready for work, and drove to school for yet another day of shaping the future of America (i.e. teaching 4th grade). I went through my morning classes and was preparing my students for lunch when I received my birthday surprise…

My entire family showed up at my classroom door! (Well, almost everybody. My sweet Abby had school today). My wife, my daughter Jessi, my son Michael, and all three of my wonderful grandchildren came smiling through the door. It was a surprise like no other! I was beyond happy and excited to see them! I proudly introduced my family to my students and spent a few precious minutes with them before they had to go.

I am the happiest Goppa in the world today! I am so overcome with emotion that my family would drive such a long way just to visit me for a few minutes on my birthday. Thank you, family, for making my otherwise ordinary day a special one. I will never forget this day as long as Iive!

Lemon Lime

I must confess one of my guilty pleasures is sugary drinks. I love pop, fruit punch, fruit juices, sweet tea, and lemonade. I know this junk is terrible for me, but I just don't like drinking plain old water. I need some flavor! One of favorites is Sprite. I like 7up too, but Sprite is better. I seem to remember advertisements for Sprite when I was a kid. The company claimed is was made from the "Lymon"... a fruit that is half lemon and half lime. Even as a kid I knew this was fictional. I never believed that Lymons were grown and harvested for the production of Sprite. That brings me to today's photo. I saw it and immediately thought of Sprite's Lymon. I'm just wondering if this image is photoshopped or if this is some sort of one in a million genetic mutation. I tend to believe it is photoshopped, but I have no real way of proving it. Anyway, here is a real life (or photoshopped) Lymon.

Who are you?

I have decided to make an attempt at solving a mystery that has long perplexed me. Please don't think I'm joking when I ask... Who in the heck is reading this blog? I often get 10-15 page views per day and I honestly don't know who is reading my little corner of the blogosphere. I am only aware of three or four regular readers. My own mother, my teaching colleagues Michelle and Paul, and my neighbor Doug. I'm pretty sure my own family only checks in from time to time. I think they tired of my ramblings a long time ago. So, I most sincerely ask... Who is reading this blog? If at all possible, could you please let me know (somehow) who you are? A comment on one of my posts. An e-mail. A text message. Whatever means you choose, please let me know who you are.

I do have a reason for asking. Obviously curiosity is the main factor. Of course I want to know who is reading this stuff. Another reason is knowing where to take my blog from here. If I have a better idea who my audience is, I can better tailor my posts to those people. For example, I wouldn't want to post a bunch of my favorite recipes if most of my readers were sports fans who didn't give a hoot about my culinary prowess. Does that make sense? So c'mon, blog readers. Let me hear from you. The curiosity is killing me!

What time is it?

A few days ago I posted information about the dying art of cursive writing. A skill I believe still has a place in 21st century America. I blame the prevalence of electronic devices for the slow killing of cursive handwriting. As a teacher I have noticed another skill that is slowly disappearing... telling time. Yes, folks, children today CANNOT read an analog clock. Everything in their world gives them a digital readout of the time of day. Think about it. Computers, tablets and phones all display time in a digital format. I have two clocks in my classroom. As a form of mild protest against the digital takeover, both are analog clocks. Children ask me many times a day, "Mr. Meyer, what time is it?" I just smile and point at the clock and tell them, "There's the clock... right there". They grimace, mutter something incomprehensible and walk away. I refuse to tell them all day long what time it is. This may sound mean, but doggone it, these kids need to know how to read a clock. Analog clocks are still EVERYWHERE! I still love it when kids ask, "How many more minutes until lunch?" or "What number will the big hand be on when it's lunch time?". I just smile and remind them of the two clocks hanging prominently on my classroom wall. The way I feel about it, is if these kids want to know when it's time for lunch, they should learn how to read a clock. It's not difficult. It's just a matter of taking the initiative and the time to learn. In truth, it's just sad to see 4th graders who can't tell time. They can text. They can play sophisticated video games. They can navigate a complicated iPhone with all its intricacies. But they can't read a stinkin' clock. The fact is, there is no reason (in their minds) to learn how to read a clock. It's quite disheartening, but I will NEVER give in. No digital clocks in my classroom. Sorry kids!

For the record... I am not a sadist. The clocks in my classroom DO HAVE numbers on them. Can you imagine the uproar and chaos if I had a clock like this?