Upside Down

We all have a date when our world was turned upside down. For some in the older generation it might be Pearl Harbor on December 7th, 1941. For others it might be the terrorist attacks on September 11th, 2001. For me it was August 31st, 1990. 25 years ago today my dad died at the tender young age of 47. I cannot fathom that dad has been gone that long. When dad was diagnosed with leukemia in October 1989, I was too young, naive and stupid to understand that he could actually die. I really thought he would fight it and the doctors would make him better. He did fight and the doctors did all they could, but less than a year after diagnosis, he was gone. I'll never forget being awakened out of a sound sleep by an early morning phone call from my mom at the hospital. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, but the cold, stark reality of the news quickly brought me out of my sleepy stupor. I remember waking my brother and sister, all of us getting dressed and driving to the hospital. Honestly, I don't remember much else about that morning (or even the subsequent days for that matter). It was a blur then and after 25 years, it's even more of a blur. I may not remember much about the morning he died or the following days, but I do remember this... I knew my dad was too young to die and I didn't have a clue how or why this could have happened.

25 years later I still miss him so much. I wish he could see me today. I have a wonderful wife (who he barely got to know). He met my step daughter, Jessi, a few times, but he didn't get a chance to know her very well either. He never got to see my other two children. He never got to see me successful in my career. He never got to see me in a beautiful suburban home and he never got to see me become a Goppa. There is so much I wish he could see and know about me.

However, above it all, I must remember that dad's death is all part of God's sovereign plan. I have no idea why dad was taken from us so soon, but my small mind is not to question why. Today on the 25th anniversary of his death I will be thinking about him a lot and thanking God for the 23 years I got to spend with him. Those 23 years are just a blip compared to the eternity I will spend with him in heaven. I look forward to the day when I can see him again and let him know that I did okay after he was gone.

I miss you Dad.