This is going to hurt

"This is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you!" Any child who ever received a spanking probably heard those words or something similar. As a child that sounded utterly ridiculous to me. How can I be the one getting my hide tanned and have it hurt my mom or dad more? Now as an adult and parent the true meaning of those words are obvious. Spanking kids is one of the most difficult, yet beneficial things a parent can do for their children. Spare the rod, spoil the child. Proverbs 13:24. As a father, I always tried to discipline my children in other ways before resorting to spanking. However, there were times my kids would try to exploit my hesitancy to spank them and would force my hand. Sometimes it was the only way. I don't regret it and if you ask my kids after they are completely grown, they will surely tell you they are no worse for the wear. And truth be told... I can count on one hand the number of times any of my kids received a spanking. The threat of the paddle was usually enough of a deterrent.

When I was kid my dad used his belt on us kids. Just like me, the number of times my dad had to actually use the belt could be counted on one hand. All he had to do was clasp his hands over his belt buckle and he struck the fear of God into us kids. I think this is my earliest memory of prayer. I thought calling on a Higher Power was the only thing that could save me. There were also the times when Dad unbuckled his belt and whipped it out of his belt loops in one fluid motion. He held that belt up like a snake handler and it was then you really knew you'd had it. I didn't know it then, but I know it now. Dad didn't want to use the belt on us. If he wanted a certain behavior to stop, the threat of the belt was usually enough to modify the behavior. He was much smarter than he looked.

Mom on the other hand didn't use the belt. She either used the classic line, "You're gonna get it when your dad gets home" or she grabbed us by the short hairs on the backs of our necks. Truth be told, having that hair pulled hurt much worse than a few lashes from the belt.

The point in all this is not to paint my parents as dishing out cruel and unusual punishment. It's quite the contrary. I'm glad my parents used corporal punishment (spanking) and I am glad I used it on my own kids. Many problems with kids nowadays stems from their parents not being parents. Many parents would rather be friends with their children. It's much easier that way and parents think they're doing their kids a favor. I'll put this bluntly... THEY'RE NOT! Your kids do not need you to be their friend. They need you to a parent. Not necessarily a domineering, dictator of a parent, but a loving parent willing to sternly and appropriately discipline their children for their own good. Do you disagree? I will only ask that you look at kids 30-50 years ago compared to kids today. Notice any differences? I'm guessing you do. What has changed? Simple... 30-50 years ago parents were not friends with their children. I'm not telling you what to think, but I am asking you to look at the facts and decide for yourself. You be the judge. Me? I choose the old ways. They worked.