Sorry!

Sorry! It's a powerful word and we've all had to use it. We've all done things we regret and had to apologize for. When used properly the word sorry can have an impact like few others. In my marriage, being willing to admit I was wrong and apologize has helped smooth over many a rough spot. I'm sure Tami would tell you the same thing about herself. Apologies have worked wonders in our married lives.

At school, I have always tried to emphasize to my students the importance of being honest and being willing to apologize. I have apologized to my students on many, many occasions. Sometimes I falsely accuse a student of doing something he/she didn't do. Sometimes I forget to do something I said I would do. Whatever the case, I am not above apologizing to a child. I've always told my students if they do something wrong they should admit it, apologize and assure me it won't happen again. If they do those things, there will be no further consequences from me. I consider the matter closed. Unfortunately, this doesn't seem to be the way the 6th grade mind works. More often than not, 6th graders lie about doing something wrong. Sometimes they admit their wrongdoing, but are unwilling to apologize. For some reason, apologies come hard for these kids.

In recent years I've noticed a difference in the use of the word "sorry" at my school. It used to mean a person felt bad for what they did and would genuinely try to avoid repeating the offense. Now the word "sorry" has come to mean something entirely different. It means, "Quit talking to me, Mr. Meyer, and leave me alone!". Most times when I correct a child, they quickly (and almost without thinking) say, "Sorry!'. A minute or two later the same child usually repeats the behavior and I repeat my correction and I hear that famous word again, "Sorry!". It's a sad state of affairs when the word "sorry" becomes empty. It means nothing. Saying you're sorry and actually BEING sorry are two different things. Sadly, very few of my students are actually sorry. Most of them use the word to deflect attention from their misbehavior and to attempt to get me off their cases. I'm onto them though. I refuse to let them get away with empty, meaningless apologies. Maybe one day the word "sorry" will carry meaning and weight again, but I'm not going to hold my breath.